Wednesday, August 23, 2006Chap 37
Vampires fast in order to make works of art. Marius said this. I want to explore that they also feel grouchy and hot tempered because of the tiredness and weakness fasting causes. I get gastric pains so I understand this point.
Louis kept his promise, he didn’t tell his master where I was. For four months, we kept in touch by email and I told him what else I needed. Most of it, my older cousin Ben also supplied. I didn’t miss my friends. I just wished Louis did not have to feel the separation.
I thought I would live here in secret. Meanwhile my life was tranquil. I was vegetarian and lost my bloodlust. I learnt to live simple and could Change upon willing it.
But while meditating I still remembered our last unpleasant confrontation. Who was to blame? Maybe… maybe Stat wanted it to be his fault, so we could reconcile quicker. I wish I had not made him so furious. Sometimes my bluntness was terrible.
I made out an email to Louis. Hesitated in between words…
Subject: Take care of him
I was just thinking of sensei chan. Is he still anorexic? He was a lot, you told me about the fasting to concentrate on his work. Has he made any new artpieces?
Do make him feed ok? Miss you
I was surprised he replied me in the next 20 minutes. Louis didn’t use a chat or phone me because I did not want Lestat to find out my screenname. It is very obvious, Elfinprincess.
Subject: yes I will take care of him…
Hi Bianca, cherie:
Lestat is thinner. Yes he asked me to see his new piece and it’s Armand. Haha.
But you’ll be pleased that he’s begun his regular habits of coaxing youths and villains to be his meal. Why don’t you write him? His email is email@example.com (his birthdate) He would love to receive some news. Lestat has been talking to me a lot about his reflections.
So many thoughts. I was wrong that he didn’t reflect on what he’s done. Bianca, Stat didn’t exactly say he was sorry that night. ‘well, I wish we could have spoken in a nicer way. I yelled. I broke all my promises… Why won’t my daughter come back?’
Lestat was so close to crying. But he smiled and hid this pain.
I don’t like it when he calls you daughter, but you see--- he’s come to see you as one. I miss you a lot too. When are you ready to come home? I know it is strange and you need time. We have all the time. Sometimes, we forget to be patient.
I got some of your fav sweets. Will you permit us to visit?
I felt very sad. Why did vampires feel this way? I was being so cruel!
Chelsea said, “Let them come. I’ll be busy this weekend. My sis can be host. You need to stop avoiding each other.”
“I don’t know. It does not feel ready yet. I’ll make them hurt if I still don’t feel like going home…”
She asked me to talk to Janessa, her aunt. She was avian too and could relate to my feelings. She did, and spoke of how her human friends were shattered. They treated her as a pet. Same. When she left them, her owner became depressed and almost died when she crossed the highway. Janessa went back and how rejoiced all of them were! They didn’t care about her progress or her need to be alone.
Her human told her, you are my bird. Just like my friend, my soulmate. I belong to you.It helped her to sort out her needs and soon the body space was redefined.
How do I know I am ready? Don’t we all need more time?
She responded-- We all can feel it. Since your friend Lestat is not human, he feels it twenty times more. This separation will only kill his need to survive. Krystal, be clear on this. Struggle within but don’t let other people suffer along with it. I know it was not to be helped.
I was angry. He thought it was his fault. I told him he was selfish. I know he is, but if only I could take those words back. Please, tell me what to do.
I am so lost. I think I won’t mind going home, if only to see him smile again. ---- I cried.
Janessa nodded and kissed my wet cheeks. Her advice was to let them come and see me. I was to show them I was fine and not sick. That is the first concern people attached to us have. Then she taught me how to explain this.
Louis only replied: yay we shall see ya! Then they arrived the night itself. 10.30 Lestat pressed the doorbell. I wanted to shut the door , but he stopped it with his shoe. He grinned like a boy and presented us with a bouquet of roses each.
“They’re Fresh from their flight. Even expensive I do not mind. Bonsoir, my dear ( to Chelsea’s sis) My cherie, I’m so happy to see you!” He looked annoyed and then hurt, when Louis elbowed him.
Chels’s sister was 30, old enough to be my guardian. She gladly accepted the bouquet and ran into the kitchen to place them into some cool water. I took mine and smiled shyly.
Obviously from examination, they found me in good health. Lestat was buzzing with questions, did I need more things? How about toys?
“She is fine. I loaded a lot of things. Left a list of what her diet should be and so on, I already said that didn’t I?” the other guy said. I Read no hurt that the blond didn’t trust him.
“Oh. You did. Just checking. Papillon, can I sit here? Hello there. Don’t worry. I’m not gonna eat. Thanks anyway. You are guardian this time?” Stat enquired politely, including her.
“Yes, Monsieur. How about some artificial blood? I have some new ones. O+ or AB?” AB is Lestat’s bloodtype so he cringed internally.
They said no. Lestat flashed her his normal- for- acquaintances smile and must have Sent her a message that she need not stay. Scoot. Louis waved a little.
Lestat was different indeed. He was full of pain, but kept up his cheer. His shirt was modern, a shortsleeved top and his hair was cut short. I could not see his violet eyes behind the trendy shades. It was great he had drunk and was healthy. Warm to his chest which spelt a healthy thing!
It was time, 1100. Janessa Sent me Talk to him, explain. They have to get this concept of leavetaking tonight.
I explained everything to them. The most horrible moment came after this, but I was not in tears. I had cried the other day. “I know you want me to blame you. Is a lot easier to, isn’t it, sensei-chan?” I spoke, the words falling like leaves.
He smiled. “That night is like a dream. I was an asshole. I was all that you mentioned, ha, and imagine I keep threatening to burn myself.” A pause while he glanced at his ringless fingers. Big white hands. “Oh I forgot. It’s melted now.”
Blackforrest. It was from a different restaurant. “Try it. Please.”
It was different, not as nice. “Um, I prefer the usual one.”
“Yes the older flavor tastes good, does it not? Louis anything to say?” I felt surprised, Puppy Always had plenty to say! But he seemed restless. He would never dream of giving up an opportunity to talk. All his mind was jumbled up. Lestat rose and headed for the patio.
Louis sighed. “Krys, what is it? Um, your mum sent us email. She knows you are here. It is normal for your kind to live apart after some time? But she said she’d have liked to receive news from you.”
“Yea.” I hugged him close. He cuddled me. “Louis is he okay? I sense he’s got plenty to say. Why does he run away?”
“This ain’t his territory. Lestat!” Louis called.
Les prince returned, soft as catspaw. He took off his glasses, the bright unnatural pupils violets. Pale and fidgety. Hearing a call from the backroom, Louis headed that way.
“Statie ( flush when I said this) are you alright? Guess you need time to get used to the idea. Come sit with us.”
Bianca! His delighted rainbow, no no come outside. It is so nice. The air is very fresh here. We sat on the swingseat. He used his power to make it move gently. I took his hand.
“La petite princesse. My precious. I was shocked you actually left. I cannot bring myself to say how sorrowful I am. Being uneducated… it is so… difficult. I waited and waited. Then your mama called me. I was so upset. You hadn’t gone to them. Then, where were you? Did not think to ask Louis.”
“I’m so sorry, you are doing great. Go on,” I replied, touching his skin. Reflective white skin, hard yet, soft to my cheek.
Princie laughed more freely. He kissed my head. “I finished the song. If only you could come home to listen to it. It was worth fasting for. I’m happy you didn’t think I was purposely ignoring all of you. I went around apologizing you know! This month, my budget flew off the handle making orders for food and flowers and wine. But the most… important thing was you. I wanted to call the police and asked Omaga. They said you were not in danger. But why can’t I sense you? Then last night, as I was feeling drunken on some mortal, foolish girl she was, Louis called me.”
It was his mobile phone, an old model. But functioning. Everybody stopped. “I flew into the air and heard him tell me you would accept our invitation. Yay! I sincerely hope you are able to come back. But I won’t force it.” The blond sniffed a bit.
I offered him some tissues. Went on to a lighter subject, “We still do not know how to do the text message. But shall figure it out. Send me messages, anything. I know you like emailing and this phone-thingie. Please do. ”
I nodded. I took a look at the ancient little phone, the type with big buttons. Haha. I keyed in my mobile number and Chelsea’s home number. “See. You can call if you need to talk to me.”
Lestat sighed. His eyes were definitely violet and not blue. My girl. Please don’t leave me…. Then a steel reinforced wall knocked me out. He apologized for his abrupt rudeness.
Why only these nights? Unwittingly, unconsciously my thoughts flowed out. Darn, I hadn’t put a shield.
Oh I can tell you. To show my trust. ---- he whispered in a misty color-----------Bianca, are we not close? I understand what you said, every word. ( he put a hand on his heart) Here it is , my eyes are violet because they were burnt.
“What?”I yelped. He will go blind! He laughed, took my shoulders. “Oh no, are you alright?”
Not recently. Silly! I’ll say this in my mind, coz don’t want others to hear. Well, I had a little trip up to purgatory, met Memnoch. It was my fifth book, and I didn’t want you children to know this. Same as my third chronicle. It isn’t for children, young adults even. My right eye was gouged out.
I gasped and hugged him fiercely. He said he wouldn’t go on if I was a scaredy cat. I patted his back. Reassured him it was important to me!
Lemme tell you why--- I managed to escape from there. Those ghosts were reaching for me. It was so horrible. I didn’t want to stay there. Originally it was the devil who wanted me to help them reach heaven.
I Sent: Wow so confusing. But you won’t show me the illustrations. Kinda get used to that. It’s tough to try and imagine.
Um, I can’t. I sealed up my memory on this. Don’t want to feel like a madman. Krys I went nuts. All of them, David, Louis and Maharet had to chain me up, this thick chains! Otherwise I would injure myself knocking against the walls. I was freaking out. Anyway, where was I? Yes, they wanted my right eye. Nobody leaves without a token of something behind.
It didn’t hurt until I reached Earth. (he coughed and held me close, then bade me sit on the grass) it was blood and gore. I couldn’t see. When I looked in the mirror, at last I chased away Armand and gang you know how nosy they get, my left one was violet.
Burnt--- I said. By what?
Lestat nodded, his index walking in the air, Coming to it. By the fires in hell. I was in hell. Deserve to be there righto? But I didn’t love one minute of it. Haha. I didn’t mind the color. I’m so vain. But my right one was a hole, bleeding plenty. He stopped.
Chelsea was looking at us, Louis behind her. “You guys in a trance? I hollered myself hoarse. Then got blocked out.”
I giggled. Wolves do not get hoarse. Their throats are like immune!
She shot me a miffed look. “Want a bite? Yo Stat, thanks so much for inviting me.” Huh? Where to?
“You’re welcome. I’ve still got a ticket left, Bianca, would you come along? I’ve asked Armand. It’s a rock concert, by Linkin Park,” Lestat added in, including me.
I said ok. I couldn’t wait for the next part of his adventure. Nothing like live story. Chelsea shook me and breathed her wolf’s breath. “Oi! Are you in there?”
“I’m cool. Go talk to your cute Lo. We were sharing something…. Intimate.”
She sniffed, glanced at the famous vamp with puppy eyes. He kissed her. “Amie, we need to talk tonight. Sorry for spacing out. We’re just fine. Very busy. No (to her plead) I cannot. See you tomorrow night.”
It must have hurt so much! Poor you. ----- I simpered.
Lestat shrugged. “No problem.” Honey, I wanted an eye patch to cover it. But I didn’t. I had to tolerate all of them asking me questions. There was Dora, a very pious woman, a new age Christian. To cut this short, I thought I’d have only 1 eye. So terrible! What torment ( in masculine and rolling ‘r’s) Two nights later, I received a letter.
Maharet already knew it, my reaction. So all left me alone. My eye was back, rolling, squishy. I popped it in again. Then the flesh healed. I could see again! This new color. The letter was from Memnoch. He was warning me he’d come again. I have never been more afraid to go there! and I don’t know if I can stay out here. A nicer welcome would be for me. but do I have the status to ask for that?
Previously we were sad you refused to talk to us. Louis should know then!---- I exclaimed.
Nobody has to. It’s embarrassing. It’s my weakest emotional point, cherie. Could you not tell anyone else? I want your friendship, your bond again, so I disclose my deepest secret. I didn’t openly consent to publishing this, but the seniors wanted this out. To balance out my Greatness.
He didn’t have to. I needed to find out about my new powers and all. So I’d left. “It’s not coz of all those.”
“Hmm, then I risked it for nothing. It’s okay.” He smiled les innocente again.
I walked to the meadow out in front. The others, their pressing desire to know. Lestat had gone indoors to let me have my space….. Where is my answer? I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings when he has done so much for me. Have I found out all I need? Is this all clear? Artemis, please give me a sign. For now I will trust my instincts and tell him the answer.
I walked into the living room. Chelsea was wolf, bounded up to me and licked my face. Her ambers in my eyes. Louis smiled encouragingly. Lestat was fixated on Reader’s Digest. His breathing was heavy. Was it so important to our thing?!
“Um, I... I’ll go pack now. You guys come and help me.” All of you waiting for some wonderful answer right? HA! I was so lost and uncertain of myself. I sounded like an all consuming idiot.
“Bianca! You’re really not bluffing us? Oh thank you! Thank you, God!” Pointe had a prayer gesture . Vampire teeth all out.
Lestat smiled. I expected him to have an extroverted reply. He suddenly came up behind me, just a wind and I was in his grasp. Embrace of a vise. He was kneeling. “Don’t. Get up.”
“Need to… I’m too happy my knees can’t hold. I’ve missed you.” Lestat didn’t hint me at all how he must be all inside, whirling and worried, father’s emotions, some deep excitement. To protect me from its impact, he had pressed it down. He allowed a small YAY!!
That required some discipline! Wow! My heat was coming up. Lestat let me go, pain in his features. “Oh, did I burn you? Sorry sorry, my powers are evolving. When I get excited….”
His wounds healed. Phew! He shook his head. I ran upstairs to pack.Eh? All packedup. Louis said, “We kinda wanted to make you come back. So Chelsea already put some of it in, I just finished the rest.”
I gave them an Evil TM. Louis winked at her. She went balloony—swoon and stuff. Lestat helped me to carry three of the heavy ones. I didn’t have to lift a finger.
Then I was back. My room was really different, like it had not seen me. I did come by occasionally, to take things which Louis could not find. They had made it a rosy pink background. The bed was done up neatly and it was a nice touch. I laid out all my toys at the foot of my bed. Cool, homely touch again.
Lestat was at the door and knocked a little. “May I ?” I nodded. He skipped right in and blew me a kiss.
“How do you like it?” in slanky American. I said I loved it!!! Woo. I was back home and I would still follow my heart. My desk, I saw a letter addressed to me, no, a few letters. From Quinn! Mom. And my old school friends.
I opened mum’s first. She had written it out. My dear child, you’ve worried them sick! Swearing Louis cher to secrecy is bad enough. Why didn’t you Tell me! I know I said you need not be explicit about your life. But you should at least inform us when you decide to kidnap yourself. Or… make a move. Lestat especially was so pitiful, he kept imploring me to scan you. Since he failed to.
Perhaps he can’t be your boyfriend. But at least trust in them. It is cruel to deceive vampires, they are honest and forthright. But enough of the scolding. I will come home on the 20th. You had better be There! We need to talk. Have daddy and my problems troubled you?i am sorry they have. So that’s what we need to talk of as well. Wait for me!
Love, your mum
I folded it back and sat with my foster parents. I was so touched by everyone’s love for me. it was overwhelming. “I do not mean to act so rashly. I have made you worry.”
Louis made a little gesture of patience. “Your mother… she was angry?”
‘No. but she will want to talk with me.”
“Great. Then you’ll be the adult you wanted to be.”
“I am not so sure I like to be the adult now, Lo. I’m kinda scared.”
He told me not to worry. They left me some privacy. I wanted Brat to come and hold me, but I opened the other letter. Quinn’s handwriting! Whoa. Yes I had told him about my leaving and still emailed.
I hope you’re home now. Just wanted to zip this to ya before I retire. You wanted to see my writing? Here it is. I know that you may not have forgiven my Boss for his speech. He does go into tirades, he has yelled at us often enough. He is Loud, crude, cruel when he wants to be. But I beseech you to remember the kindness. Don’t hate him.
When I went to his house in Orleans, he was a mess. Krys, I am not lying to you, he just sat there. So forlorn and alone. He had not told anybody. Held all his worn books and lots of torn clothes. I stayed to console him. Since you’re reading this, you should’ve come home right? Please be there! I found you in good health, so I sent Boss a signal. You haven’t replied my 5 or so emails. Where are you?
Quinn (very lovely signature and mature, strong)
Oh that was how they decided to come so fast! Louis would have cautioned to wait for a while but it was Bratstyle to rush into the place! I replied that I was alright on email. Hope he was not worried anymore.
I thanked them for my presents. I touched Lestat on the shoulder and said I’d help. “I don’t want ya to overstrain.” He knelt aside, folding out some crumpled clothes. I bent too, pulling out dirty clothing and clean ones to separate.
“Cherie were you going further away? You brought so many things. Ow!” Blood welled from his finger. Oh shit my penknife. I closed it and got a tissue to press. I forgot his healing ability. In ten, the wound stopped.
“I am so sorry! What was I thinking?”I exclaimed. He smiled, mind fluttering like cute flowers. “My child that’s a good sign. You are back.”
I sulked. He asked,”Isn’t this mine?” A book on Positive thinking. Er, yeah.