Wednesday, August 23, 2006Rosary
I couldn’t sleep even though it was past midnight. By this time, Lestat would have bolted his door. In case I blundered in and accidentally disturbed him. I knocked.
The light still on. Louis had told me what beads were on a string, rosary. His was worn down. Catholics pray on the Mysteries of Christ. Do you want to know more?
“Stat’s got a cabinet full, wanna see?” he’said, keeping his into a pouch.
Something dropped. Lestat grumbled, Then ran to the door, pulling it open. “ Aah, what is it?”
“It is not convenient for me?”I whispered.
“No no. come come, silly gal,” Lestat said quickly. “Sit at my bed.”All his things had tumbled on the floor. Pages and pages. Not his writing, published pages. I sat and watched my friend pick them up, looking, then picking again.
He was happy to show me his collection. “Cherie, my love. Lalalalala,”he sang. He opened the cabinet, took out some white containers. Pouches, purses and shapes.
“Wow!” I took out a purely shiny one from germany.
“I got this from a lady. I donated any amount and it’s some kinda souvenir,” He explained. Was it okay to touch it? I did not want to.
“No problem. Touch them. Nothing will happen. It is with blessings,” they urged me. Lestat covered my hands up. He demonstrated how to do a sequence. “Holy Water from Jerusalem. We are sinners. Somehow it feels good to be touched by Holy water.”
I saw Stat praying. He must have concentrated very hard, for the perspiration was intense. He didn’t react when I touched his hair at the back of his neck, a reaction he’d normally poke me back. But he did not.
Ring kinds of rosaries. Rotate along your finger. Some baby soft ones. He’d labeled them: specially for children, babies. I liked the feel of them. “Puppy , which do you use more?”
“This one.” A plain white one. I felt the often usage of the beads.
The blond had such soft lashes in his eyes. He smiled. “Want to be pure. I hope I can attain salvation. No not the same as enlightenment. (They conversed in francaise for a while)
Louis looked forlorn at the moment and sat back, crossing his legs. He thought, when will we get our chance? Are we going to hell for the murders we’ve committed.
“God listens to all of us. I believeHe does to sinners. And I hope my prayers reach him.”
I felt a blue rosary, noting the color of it against his eyes. Shiny and soft. “If you pray like that all the time, I am sure you will be okay.” Stat lay down on his tummy and turned his head sideways to observe me. His curls tumbled over one eye.
“Yea…. Which do you like? But this is not to force you to convert all right? Don’t be mistaken,” he said worriedly, I meant more worriedly than anyone else.
“It’s alright. I don’t think so. Or you’d go all fanatic. There was this girl at the mall, she scared me! She talked and talked about those touched by Jesus, made a big deal out of it. In my face kind! I was freaked out.”
They nodded quietly. Louis said people should not behave like this. I showed them some of the leaflets.
“Makes Christians have a bad name,”Brat remarked.
I liked one which was St Patrick’s rosary very dark green. Lestat flicked away some bloodtears. He was thankful for my sweet consoling words. “Hey don’t. it’s embarrassing.”
“I am,”he sniffled. “Like this. Accept it.”
I squeezed him around the shoulders for a bit. He laughed shakily. Not all lamia or made are Christians, like us they could be pagan, atheist or no religion. Usually they find a religion to have something to hold fast to.
“GREAT people! Lestaaaat,” I announced when I entered the house another hot night. the wind was really stuffy. No one answered. I looked at my watch. 6pm. Maybe the weaker vamp was not up yet. I sniffed.
“Over here! Kitchen,” his voice rang out, sounding preoccupied. Lestat was hopping on one leg and flipped fragrant eggs on the platter. He was more frazzled than ever. He I laughed. “Don’t laff at me! Lassie, bon appetit. Smellit!” I giggled some much I almost fell over.
He turned off the burner. Wiped his hands on a clean cloth. Immense hygiene! Surprise. I tucked into the 2 or more eggs. Delicious. He had made some soup as well.
“Woooow, why the sudden urge to become a cook man?” I mused, tasting them. The newbie chef looked anxious.
“Not too bad eh? Thought you might wanna have a meal when you come back. Woke up early today.” I finished the rice, more chicken in tomato sauce, broccoli, mayonnaise, creamy mushroom potato broth. “Actually the soup is the canned one. But the rest I made myself,”Stat informed me.
I hugged him. Genuinely one of a kind! Louis was shocked outta his wits when he saw the food. “Well, well well.”
Vampires fast in order to make works of art. Marius said this. I want to explore that they also feel grouchy and hot tempered because of the tiredness and weakness fasting causes. I get gastric pains so I understand this point.
Louis kept his promise, he didn’t tell his master where I was. For four months, we kept in touch by email and I told him what else I needed. Most of it, my older cousin Ben also supplied. I didn’t miss my friends. I just wished Louis did not have to feel the separation.
I thought I would live here in secret. Meanwhile my life was tranquil. I was vegetarian and lost my bloodlust. I learnt to live simple and could Change upon willing it.
But while meditating I still remembered our last unpleasant confrontation. Who was to blame? Maybe… maybe Stat wanted it to be his fault, so we could reconcile quicker. I wish I had not made him so furious. Sometimes my bluntness was terrible.
I made out an email to Louis. Hesitated in between words…
Subject: Take care of him
I was just thinking of sensei chan. Is he still anorexic? He was a lot, you told me about the fasting to concentrate on his work. Has he made any new artpieces?
Do make him feed ok? Miss you
I was surprised he replied me in the next 20 minutes. Louis didn’t use a chat or phone me because I did not want Lestat to find out my screenname. It is very obvious, Elfinprincess.
Subject: yes I will take care of him…
Hi Bianca, cherie:
Lestat is thinner. Yes he asked me to see his new piece and it’s Armand. Haha.
But you’ll be pleased that he’s begun his regular habits of coaxing youths and villains to be his meal. Why don’t you write him? His email is email@example.com (his birthdate) He would love to receive some news. Lestat has been talking to me a lot about his reflections.
So many thoughts. I was wrong that he didn’t reflect on what he’s done. Bianca, Stat didn’t exactly say he was sorry that night. ‘well, I wish we could have spoken in a nicer way. I yelled. I broke all my promises… Why won’t my daughter come back?’
Lestat was so close to crying. But he smiled and hid this pain.
I don’t like it when he calls you daughter, but you see--- he’s come to see you as one. I miss you a lot too. When are you ready to come home? I know it is strange and you need time. We have all the time. Sometimes, we forget to be patient.
I got some of your fav sweets. Will you permit us to visit?
I felt very sad. Why did vampires feel this way? I was being so cruel!
Chelsea said, “Let them come. I’ll be busy this weekend. My sis can be host. You need to stop avoiding each other.”
“I don’t know. It does not feel ready yet. I’ll make them hurt if I still don’t feel like going home…”
She asked me to talk to Janessa, her aunt. She was avian too and could relate to my feelings. She did, and spoke of how her human friends were shattered. They treated her as a pet. Same. When she left them, her owner became depressed and almost died when she crossed the highway. Janessa went back and how rejoiced all of them were! They didn’t care about her progress or her need to be alone.
Her human told her, you are my bird. Just like my friend, my soulmate. I belong to you.It helped her to sort out her needs and soon the body space was redefined.
How do I know I am ready? Don’t we all need more time?
She responded-- We all can feel it. Since your friend Lestat is not human, he feels it twenty times more. This separation will only kill his need to survive. Krystal, be clear on this. Struggle within but don’t let other people suffer along with it. I know it was not to be helped.
I was angry. He thought it was his fault. I told him he was selfish. I know he is, but if only I could take those words back. Please, tell me what to do.
I am so lost. I think I won’t mind going home, if only to see him smile again. ---- I cried.
Janessa nodded and kissed my wet cheeks. Her advice was to let them come and see me. I was to show them I was fine and not sick. That is the first concern people attached to us have. Then she taught me how to explain this.
Louis only replied: yay we shall see ya! Then they arrived the night itself. 10.30 Lestat pressed the doorbell. I wanted to shut the door , but he stopped it with his shoe. He grinned like a boy and presented us with a bouquet of roses each.
“They’re Fresh from their flight. Even expensive I do not mind. Bonsoir, my dear ( to Chelsea’s sis) My cherie, I’m so happy to see you!” He looked annoyed and then hurt, when Louis elbowed him.
Chels’s sister was 30, old enough to be my guardian. She gladly accepted the bouquet and ran into the kitchen to place them into some cool water. I took mine and smiled shyly.
Obviously from examination, they found me in good health. Lestat was buzzing with questions, did I need more things? How about toys?
“She is fine. I loaded a lot of things. Left a list of what her diet should be and so on, I already said that didn’t I?” the other guy said. I Read no hurt that the blond didn’t trust him.
“Oh. You did. Just checking. Papillon, can I sit here? Hello there. Don’t worry. I’m not gonna eat. Thanks anyway. You are guardian this time?” Stat enquired politely, including her.
“Yes, Monsieur. How about some artificial blood? I have some new ones. O+ or AB?” AB is Lestat’s bloodtype so he cringed internally.
They said no. Lestat flashed her his normal- for- acquaintances smile and must have Sent her a message that she need not stay. Scoot. Louis waved a little.
Lestat was different indeed. He was full of pain, but kept up his cheer. His shirt was modern, a shortsleeved top and his hair was cut short. I could not see his violet eyes behind the trendy shades. It was great he had drunk and was healthy. Warm to his chest which spelt a healthy thing!
It was time, 1100. Janessa Sent me Talk to him, explain. They have to get this concept of leavetaking tonight.
I explained everything to them. The most horrible moment came after this, but I was not in tears. I had cried the other day. “I know you want me to blame you. Is a lot easier to, isn’t it, sensei-chan?” I spoke, the words falling like leaves.
He smiled. “That night is like a dream. I was an asshole. I was all that you mentioned, ha, and imagine I keep threatening to burn myself.” A pause while he glanced at his ringless fingers. Big white hands. “Oh I forgot. It’s melted now.”
Blackforrest. It was from a different restaurant. “Try it. Please.”
It was different, not as nice. “Um, I prefer the usual one.”
“Yes the older flavor tastes good, does it not? Louis anything to say?” I felt surprised, Puppy Always had plenty to say! But he seemed restless. He would never dream of giving up an opportunity to talk. All his mind was jumbled up. Lestat rose and headed for the patio.
Louis sighed. “Krys, what is it? Um, your mum sent us email. She knows you are here. It is normal for your kind to live apart after some time? But she said she’d have liked to receive news from you.”
“Yea.” I hugged him close. He cuddled me. “Louis is he okay? I sense he’s got plenty to say. Why does he run away?”
“This ain’t his territory. Lestat!” Louis called.
Les prince returned, soft as catspaw. He took off his glasses, the bright unnatural pupils violets. Pale and fidgety. Hearing a call from the backroom, Louis headed that way.
“Statie ( flush when I said this) are you alright? Guess you need time to get used to the idea. Come sit with us.”
Bianca! His delighted rainbow, no no come outside. It is so nice. The air is very fresh here. We sat on the swingseat. He used his power to make it move gently. I took his hand.
“La petite princesse. My precious. I was shocked you actually left. I cannot bring myself to say how sorrowful I am. Being uneducated… it is so… difficult. I waited and waited. Then your mama called me. I was so upset. You hadn’t gone to them. Then, where were you? Did not think to ask Louis.”
“I’m so sorry, you are doing great. Go on,” I replied, touching his skin. Reflective white skin, hard yet, soft to my cheek.
Princie laughed more freely. He kissed my head. “I finished the song. If only you could come home to listen to it. It was worth fasting for. I’m happy you didn’t think I was purposely ignoring all of you. I went around apologizing you know! This month, my budget flew off the handle making orders for food and flowers and wine. But the most… important thing was you. I wanted to call the police and asked Omaga. They said you were not in danger. But why can’t I sense you? Then last night, as I was feeling drunken on some mortal, foolish girl she was, Louis called me.”
It was his mobile phone, an old model. But functioning. Everybody stopped. “I flew into the air and heard him tell me you would accept our invitation. Yay! I sincerely hope you are able to come back. But I won’t force it.” The blond sniffed a bit.
I offered him some tissues. Went on to a lighter subject, “We still do not know how to do the text message. But shall figure it out. Send me messages, anything. I know you like emailing and this phone-thingie. Please do. ”
I nodded. I took a look at the ancient little phone, the type with big buttons. Haha. I keyed in my mobile number and Chelsea’s home number. “See. You can call if you need to talk to me.”
Lestat sighed. His eyes were definitely violet and not blue. My girl. Please don’t leave me…. Then a steel reinforced wall knocked me out. He apologized for his abrupt rudeness.
Why only these nights? Unwittingly, unconsciously my thoughts flowed out. Darn, I hadn’t put a shield.
Oh I can tell you. To show my trust. ---- he whispered in a misty color-----------Bianca, are we not close? I understand what you said, every word. ( he put a hand on his heart) Here it is , my eyes are violet because they were burnt.
“What?”I yelped. He will go blind! He laughed, took my shoulders. “Oh no, are you alright?”
Not recently. Silly! I’ll say this in my mind, coz don’t want others to hear. Well, I had a little trip up to purgatory, met Memnoch. It was my fifth book, and I didn’t want you children to know this. Same as my third chronicle. It isn’t for children, young adults even. My right eye was gouged out.
I gasped and hugged him fiercely. He said he wouldn’t go on if I was a scaredy cat. I patted his back. Reassured him it was important to me!
Lemme tell you why--- I managed to escape from there. Those ghosts were reaching for me. It was so horrible. I didn’t want to stay there. Originally it was the devil who wanted me to help them reach heaven.
I Sent: Wow so confusing. But you won’t show me the illustrations. Kinda get used to that. It’s tough to try and imagine.
Um, I can’t. I sealed up my memory on this. Don’t want to feel like a madman. Krys I went nuts. All of them, David, Louis and Maharet had to chain me up, this thick chains! Otherwise I would injure myself knocking against the walls. I was freaking out. Anyway, where was I? Yes, they wanted my right eye. Nobody leaves without a token of something behind.
It didn’t hurt until I reached Earth. (he coughed and held me close, then bade me sit on the grass) it was blood and gore. I couldn’t see. When I looked in the mirror, at last I chased away Armand and gang you know how nosy they get, my left one was violet.
Burnt--- I said. By what?
Lestat nodded, his index walking in the air, Coming to it. By the fires in hell. I was in hell. Deserve to be there righto? But I didn’t love one minute of it. Haha. I didn’t mind the color. I’m so vain. But my right one was a hole, bleeding plenty. He stopped.
Chelsea was looking at us, Louis behind her. “You guys in a trance? I hollered myself hoarse. Then got blocked out.”
I giggled. Wolves do not get hoarse. Their throats are like immune!
She shot me a miffed look. “Want a bite? Yo Stat, thanks so much for inviting me.” Huh? Where to?
“You’re welcome. I’ve still got a ticket left, Bianca, would you come along? I’ve asked Armand. It’s a rock concert, by Linkin Park,” Lestat added in, including me.
I said ok. I couldn’t wait for the next part of his adventure. Nothing like live story. Chelsea shook me and breathed her wolf’s breath. “Oi! Are you in there?”
“I’m cool. Go talk to your cute Lo. We were sharing something…. Intimate.”
She sniffed, glanced at the famous vamp with puppy eyes. He kissed her. “Amie, we need to talk tonight. Sorry for spacing out. We’re just fine. Very busy. No (to her plead) I cannot. See you tomorrow night.”
It must have hurt so much! Poor you. ----- I simpered.
Lestat shrugged. “No problem.” Honey, I wanted an eye patch to cover it. But I didn’t. I had to tolerate all of them asking me questions. There was Dora, a very pious woman, a new age Christian. To cut this short, I thought I’d have only 1 eye. So terrible! What torment ( in masculine and rolling ‘r’s) Two nights later, I received a letter.
Maharet already knew it, my reaction. So all left me alone. My eye was back, rolling, squishy. I popped it in again. Then the flesh healed. I could see again! This new color. The letter was from Memnoch. He was warning me he’d come again. I have never been more afraid to go there! and I don’t know if I can stay out here. A nicer welcome would be for me. but do I have the status to ask for that?
Previously we were sad you refused to talk to us. Louis should know then!---- I exclaimed.
Nobody has to. It’s embarrassing. It’s my weakest emotional point, cherie. Could you not tell anyone else? I want your friendship, your bond again, so I disclose my deepest secret. I didn’t openly consent to publishing this, but the seniors wanted this out. To balance out my Greatness.
He didn’t have to. I needed to find out about my new powers and all. So I’d left. “It’s not coz of all those.”
“Hmm, then I risked it for nothing. It’s okay.” He smiled les innocente again.
I walked to the meadow out in front. The others, their pressing desire to know. Lestat had gone indoors to let me have my space….. Where is my answer? I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings when he has done so much for me. Have I found out all I need? Is this all clear? Artemis, please give me a sign. For now I will trust my instincts and tell him the answer.
I walked into the living room. Chelsea was wolf, bounded up to me and licked my face. Her ambers in my eyes. Louis smiled encouragingly. Lestat was fixated on Reader’s Digest. His breathing was heavy. Was it so important to our thing?!
“Um, I... I’ll go pack now. You guys come and help me.” All of you waiting for some wonderful answer right? HA! I was so lost and uncertain of myself. I sounded like an all consuming idiot.
“Bianca! You’re really not bluffing us? Oh thank you! Thank you, God!” Pointe had a prayer gesture . Vampire teeth all out.
Lestat smiled. I expected him to have an extroverted reply. He suddenly came up behind me, just a wind and I was in his grasp. Embrace of a vise. He was kneeling. “Don’t. Get up.”
“Need to… I’m too happy my knees can’t hold. I’ve missed you.” Lestat didn’t hint me at all how he must be all inside, whirling and worried, father’s emotions, some deep excitement. To protect me from its impact, he had pressed it down. He allowed a small YAY!!
That required some discipline! Wow! My heat was coming up. Lestat let me go, pain in his features. “Oh, did I burn you? Sorry sorry, my powers are evolving. When I get excited….”
His wounds healed. Phew! He shook his head. I ran upstairs to pack.Eh? All packedup. Louis said, “We kinda wanted to make you come back. So Chelsea already put some of it in, I just finished the rest.”
I gave them an Evil TM. Louis winked at her. She went balloony—swoon and stuff. Lestat helped me to carry three of the heavy ones. I didn’t have to lift a finger.
Then I was back. My room was really different, like it had not seen me. I did come by occasionally, to take things which Louis could not find. They had made it a rosy pink background. The bed was done up neatly and it was a nice touch. I laid out all my toys at the foot of my bed. Cool, homely touch again.
Lestat was at the door and knocked a little. “May I ?” I nodded. He skipped right in and blew me a kiss.
“How do you like it?” in slanky American. I said I loved it!!! Woo. I was back home and I would still follow my heart. My desk, I saw a letter addressed to me, no, a few letters. From Quinn! Mom. And my old school friends.
I opened mum’s first. She had written it out. My dear child, you’ve worried them sick! Swearing Louis cher to secrecy is bad enough. Why didn’t you Tell me! I know I said you need not be explicit about your life. But you should at least inform us when you decide to kidnap yourself. Or… make a move. Lestat especially was so pitiful, he kept imploring me to scan you. Since he failed to.
Perhaps he can’t be your boyfriend. But at least trust in them. It is cruel to deceive vampires, they are honest and forthright. But enough of the scolding. I will come home on the 20th. You had better be There! We need to talk. Have daddy and my problems troubled you?i am sorry they have. So that’s what we need to talk of as well. Wait for me!
Love, your mum
I folded it back and sat with my foster parents. I was so touched by everyone’s love for me. it was overwhelming. “I do not mean to act so rashly. I have made you worry.”
Louis made a little gesture of patience. “Your mother… she was angry?”
‘No. but she will want to talk with me.”
“Great. Then you’ll be the adult you wanted to be.”
“I am not so sure I like to be the adult now, Lo. I’m kinda scared.”
He told me not to worry. They left me some privacy. I wanted Brat to come and hold me, but I opened the other letter. Quinn’s handwriting! Whoa. Yes I had told him about my leaving and still emailed.
I hope you’re home now. Just wanted to zip this to ya before I retire. You wanted to see my writing? Here it is. I know that you may not have forgiven my Boss for his speech. He does go into tirades, he has yelled at us often enough. He is Loud, crude, cruel when he wants to be. But I beseech you to remember the kindness. Don’t hate him.
When I went to his house in Orleans, he was a mess. Krys, I am not lying to you, he just sat there. So forlorn and alone. He had not told anybody. Held all his worn books and lots of torn clothes. I stayed to console him. Since you’re reading this, you should’ve come home right? Please be there! I found you in good health, so I sent Boss a signal. You haven’t replied my 5 or so emails. Where are you?
Quinn (very lovely signature and mature, strong)
Oh that was how they decided to come so fast! Louis would have cautioned to wait for a while but it was Bratstyle to rush into the place! I replied that I was alright on email. Hope he was not worried anymore.
I thanked them for my presents. I touched Lestat on the shoulder and said I’d help. “I don’t want ya to overstrain.” He knelt aside, folding out some crumpled clothes. I bent too, pulling out dirty clothing and clean ones to separate.
“Cherie were you going further away? You brought so many things. Ow!” Blood welled from his finger. Oh shit my penknife. I closed it and got a tissue to press. I forgot his healing ability. In ten, the wound stopped.
“I am so sorry! What was I thinking?”I exclaimed. He smiled, mind fluttering like cute flowers. “My child that’s a good sign. You are back.”
I sulked. He asked,”Isn’t this mine?” A book on Positive thinking. Er, yeah.
Saturday, August 19, 2006Flaring tempers and my decision to leave!
Feeling extremely depressed, I left for a month and stayed with my aunt.
Lestat was irate that I left without informing them. “You promised you’d always trust in us. Mon dieu! I scanned but I couldn’t feel you, Krystal. Why didn’t you leave us word? We don’t have feelings?”
I couldn’t say, because all I thought of was how I’d miss them if I went to heaven and didn’t see them there. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it can’t be reversed. Where’re you? Come home,” Stat replied, both pissed and persuasively. I said I couldn’t. He let Louis come on the phone.
“What is wrong? Lestat’s furious. Even I can’t appease his temper like that.”
“I.. I need to think for a bit. It’s not working out, this arrangement. Oh Louis, I’m stressed. I’ll see ya both outside, at Central Street? Yea, 7.30 is fine. Bye.”
The following evening, the three of us rendezvous. Lestat was still a little sore I’d run away. Louis was much happier. He’d on his new clothes------ silk green shirt and white pants. I wore jeans and a black blouse covered up to my elbows. It’d an emblem of a dragon.
Brat, sorry ok?
“If you’re sorry you’ll have the courtesy to tell me why. Why you resorted to such a childishness!” Brat p whispered fiercely. He flashed his teeth. Some passersby ran.
“Stat, don’t spoil this night. We should have fun.” The master did not respond.
I was with him, while looking out at the lighted hotel. “I won’t leave you again. I had to… reflect on something. I can come home tomorrow. Promise. ”
He laughed and in it were some tears choking his throat. ‘How do You know? Can your vision grant that far?”
Damn him. Spoiling the night and making it impossible for reconciliation. “No! I’m trying to console you! Don’t be--- don’t be like this.” I cried in frustration. I screeched, a hiccup. He glanced in surprise.
“I didn’t mean to sound so… dreary. Tonight should be a joyous reunion. But, I can’t. Forget about what I said. Bianca, you cannot tell me why you left?” he wanted to know.
“No. not your fault. I wanted some privacy.”
“Ok.” He sighed. We had an uncomfortable silence between us. Never experienced this before. I liked silence but my friend was never silent. Why had he fallen so deep I couldn’t reach him? I touched his cold arm. His hair concealed his picture of agony and dismay. It was an undercurrent, which he was trying to hide but with my evolved strength, I had no problem sensing it.
“Um, are you angry? Are you okay?”
The blond smiled sadly and touched my cheek. His eyes like broken glass, all too
sorrowful. “Cherie, I’m so afraid. Once you find the depth of my hunger and, possessiveness, you will leave me. It has always shown up. (drawing of breath) I refused to grant Rowan her request. I don’t want to drag anyone else down with me. Niki, Claudia…” Lestat’s voice broke at this juncture.
What to say? In some part of my life, I’d to part with my family. It is the natural cycle of a Shaper to leave its family. My parents and relatives understood this. I had not told them yet. Darn, how should I form the words? Louis was patient even in anger, but Lestat was different. He was a wound- up toy that wouldn’t
He’d never hesitated to tell me before. A pause of eloquence. “What is it?” I prompted, reaching once more across to touch his cold hand. This time, I promised, I won’t flinch away. I won’t be prejudiced against you, beloved Teacher.
I held his hand not minding the iciness. So happy always, breaker of rules. Yet he longs for stability, truth in his relationships. Freedom of the cons of immortality.
“Why don’t you tell me to grow up, and be in charge here? I sound super helpless.” He laughed.
I pondered my things. “Lestat, I need to stay away for awhile. To think about why I’m here, some growing process. I haven’t mentioned this before have I?” I began when I had taken another sip of my lemonade. The vampire glanced at me, not in pain now. Worry. “Don’t worry. I’m at a friend’s. I’ll be alright. She’s a great cook.”
My fosterdad made a sound. You’re leaving me. It’ll be gradual but it’ll be definite. He was sobbing and covered his mouth with a white fist.
No I won’t. Just for this month okay?
"Have I stopped your freedom? Controlled you too much? Let us discuss this further. Do not be rash----- Lestat said. Maybe it is because of the music. I was bothering you… I’ll come back to normal again. I’ve brooded too long. You kids are very important to me. Let’s enjoy the rest of the night. ok?"
He brushed this away as a minor issue attributing it to his habits of anti sociality these days. How was I to know training Lestat to leave us alone and help us have peace would cause this? Why did he lay it out that he understood? No one understood how we Shapeshifters felt during our time of confusion! Nobody can claim to come even a second inch near enough. It was not his quiet time Or obsessive music affecting me.
I blurted out “You’re not helping! Why’re all your thoughts self centred! I’m not as shallow as you think.”
“Oh. That I’m selfish?”he replied in a somber tone. This cut like a whip. I turned away. Got more agitated, “Hey! Stop! All I’ve ever done and tried to do was out of love. You are the one who can’t understand. Then, I cannot expect that of a mortal, should I? No mortal can love me, or they just need me for that frigging moment, when I can render help! I might as well wait for the sun!”
I yelled across the wide gap, “Now what conclusion are you jumping! Everytime you fight with anybody, it’s always threatening to go and die! What the hell do you want? ”
He wasn’t weeping anymore but extremely angry. Cheeks reddened and he bared his fangs. “I want you to come back! Must it be so difficult? If you’re not mortal, you don’t need to do this. You are above all this!”
“I was wrong to hope you’d be sympathetic... I can’t talk anymore.” I walked away quickly, tears coming up. But I wouldn’t let him see me cry.
Lestat roared, didn’t follow me. It frightened the creatures of the night. “FINE! I’m an immortal and a damned one at that! You don’t want to see me again, you want me dead!” Then he sobbed. I stopped, turned around, but Lestat was gone.
Louis begged me to see reason. He said, "He was starved. Maybe you won't change your mind now. But will you when you've cooled down?" I was sorry to bring him into this.
He wanted a perfect family.
"Let me come. To make sure you're all right." I couldn't say no to that.
I went to Chelsea's house. The quiet vampire held my arm. He seemed distraught. I looked into his eyes and gently asked him to go home. I will cope fine. Let's contact by email. Ok?
I wouldn't let him speak any further and ran indoors. Couldn't risk the blond tracking me. But he did not. He must be seething at my words. It served him right! I hate it when people threaten about themselves to me.
*I love my stuffed toys still, but they’re all in a box and out of reach. So sad. Actually I believe that all of us should be able to hug our teddies no matter what! It’s Not childish. Adults claim they don’t need them, but I bet they do! Bwahaha.
The main gate is opened by remote, when I go out in the mornings, the matron will open it for me. All of Lestat’s servants know me as his niece and they let me in later. He has placed the other remote in my room and warned me not to let them past the gate. There’re alarms installed if anyone tries to harm me. Hopefully no one will actually find out I’m alone before my friends wake and the servants pack up. I paid the man and the gate swung shut by itself.
Hey im back. Now I’m munching on cheese pizza. U wake so early. No one’s up yet.
Quinn604: yes. Btw, I’m free tonite so we can chat. I can’t tomorrow and Fri.
Elfin: yay! so… how’s dating? U got many gals to meet.
Quinn604: have gone out with them if mona’s not here. But temptation a lot, I’ve lack of self-control. So I try not to for 2long.
Lestat’s signature and he called to me. Maroon, the standard signal when he’s just awoken. “Cherie, bonsoir. Is that your friend? Important?”
I told him. He perked up and bounced in. “Lemmme talk please! Please!” I left him to it and continued eating pizza to the rhythm of keys knocking away. After some time he asked me, “How much is that?”
“30 bucks. Ok right? Want some?” I held out the box. Lestat sniffed daintily, wrinkled his nose.
“It IS Nice. Are we going out later?”
He thought about this. “I think so, but no plans. Where you wanna go?”
I indicated the screen. “But Quinn can only hang tonight. Not two days.” Lestat shrugged. Sure. Then it’s ok. Hmm, wanna patrol outside. Love ya. He tried one piece, and thought, eugh it’s too oily.
We embraced and he headed out. I got email from Mona. She said, ‘ It’s me! I’m excited to be ur friend. My first real girl friend. About Rowan? She’s my oldest cousin. All of us are related, one way or the other.
Our men are strong too. But haha we don’t wear black hats and capes. And I dislike cats! I am allergic. We can communicate with ghosts and undead. Reply me pls! Right now I’m doing more training to ctrl my powers. I’m strengthened by Lestat’s blood. Sometimes I overdo it and frighten pple. But Bianca, I hope you won’t need to fear me.
Thanks for reading this. Get back to me soon k?
Playing a Father Figure
Plush yellow ducky in my bed. Such a sentimental thing that my foster daddy bought me! We were queuing for ice cream cones at a funfair. People with laughing whole families with grandparents, cousins…. Mortals with compassion and family sense. I moved away and felt crying. My parents didn’t buy me presents now I was grownup. He Read me.
“Hold the cone. I’ll go win a toy.”
“Why? Don’t be silly,” I sulked.
He thought I had no confidence in his skill. Disappeared into the crowd. His thoughts were--- Darn these pple. Mortals. Yes I’m in!! Some time before he returned with this huge duck toy. Beaming he held it out.
“It’s melting. Had to lick it.”
Stat shook his head in mock exasperation. I hugged it and felt so small.
“Did I offend you by accident?” he whispered.
I’m an adult now. Don’t need to do this for me. I like how he listened, absolutely silent and not looking at me. After a while, Stat said, “It’s not that I disagree. Everyone is a child inside. I couldn’t help feeling you didn’t have a chance to be like those other children. And close knit families.”
Oh I’m sorry my child. Didn’t mean to go so deep.
My eyes felt so prickly and hot. “I wish I had a nice daddy. I am angry you know. But…” I sniffled and felt like laughing too. I was confused and hurt and touched all at once.
“I can be your daddy. ” Why had I not let him totally in? The vampire smiled, enfolding me in his arms with Ducky in the centre. I couldn’t resist him. Lestat is my family, he can take care of me. Why do I need to resist so hard when I actually Need people? That is so weird. But I suppose I have animal instincts, territorial which makes me fiercer than an ordinary human being. I don’t understand myself. But I don’t feel scared.
“ Bianca.” Cut into the silence. “Are you alright now? I’m sorry I intruded on your thoughts.”
I was at an arm’s distance from the preter. He was puzzled. So I said, “Oh no. you didn’t, it’s okay.”
Stat’s frown was still puzzled, he didn’t touch me. I gave him the green light and walked closer beside him again. “It was just… surprising. You’re all so nice. Do you… do you understand yourself?”
He chuckled. The supernatural pupils dilated as he arranged the words from francaise to English. “Hmm, let’s see. I don’t know myself. What’s the meaning of self, of you? It is too difficult, too complex to understand. Like when I take risks, I know it’s bad to worry my friends. And when I’m impetuous, the passions of my heart quicken. I’m older than any average mortal. But I still ponder the mysteries of my inner self…”
This means so much to me. The old ducky’s drooping, graying and has cotton spilling out of its leg, but I try to sew it back.
“What if we could share in his adventures? Stat seems so alone mostly. I want to help.”
“I don’t think so. He is good to keep the consuming darkness within. How can we possibly capture the dreary and depressing moments of his pain and suffering? And you are one so little.” Louis didn’t make little sound so bad, and I didn’t mind it. Hmm.
In my musings, the youngest vamp and I got to be buddies. Quinn told me more about himself. He could see the ghosts of spirits. But he wasn’t scared of them. ‘Sorry I shouldn’t sound obsessed with this. I wrote so much! Tell me what you’ve been doing. Just relax, Boss knows what he can or cannot do. As long as he’s got us, he won’t be so down. What do you wanna do when school’s finished?’
Louis made out an email to him. They haven’t got acquainted with each other much. It was only once or twice. (After all, Louis was bored with all the usual reading and poetry and black and white movies. To save money, I got him to lend me Hamlet to review for our Literature.)
Hi Noble Prince,
Your name sounds cool. I have done email, yes, but not much. I can type reasonably well. Can ask me any questions you’ve got. Take care. LD.P
I’ve heard so much abt you but haven’t read your book before. Want to look it up. Lestat dislikes it, says your work distorts his true self. Well I want to get to know you, up close. After all, it is a blockbuster hit! That’s gotta be something! Your family died a long time ago?
Krys wants to know how old we really are before it’s considered mature. What do you think? Yea that book and video drives him nuts. Hey thank you for the compliments! I’m sure your work can make it to blockbuster too next time. I didn’t expect it to be such a stirrup.
Lestat is so much better tonight and he’s really happy about someone! In high spirits all the time. He grins when we ask. Usually he’s high when a new girl comes along. Quinn, you’re the 1st who’s asked me how I’ve truly felt. Yes my family is dead, but I’m numb. I don’t feel grieved anymore.
There’s such a hard life being mortal eh? From Louis
In Lestat’s diary, there was a small entry which he’d not intended for me to browse. I accidentally came across it while searching for the novel I had lent him. It slipped out, falling open to these pages. If I wasn’t wrong it seemed to be the inspiration behind his latest top secret work . Lestat barely went out except twice a week and spent most of his time in the piano room obsessing and perfecting his composition.
My best friend, Niki
He was my antithesis. But he couldn’t transcend the Darkness which I did. He blamed me. Yes, it was correct, why didn’t I stop him while the heart still beat. The moment of our first feed is very important. If it’s bungled it’s definitely gone case.
He’d quite a vibrant personality. Of course it was a side seldom seen by anyone else. Nicolas de Lenfent, doomed to a loneliness, Like attracts like. I still remember when he first came to my home, demanding to see me! Wow, all cloaked in the best baronial winter wear. I rushed down and embraced him. We had the same aesthete taste in opera, Macbeth and Hamlet. Tomorrow and tomorrow… Niki composed all the music. Unfortunately no theatre would accept his work. His father was equally forbidding of violin playing, as was my dad. Dammit! Why are fathers cruel!
I guessed I was rebellious then, so I applauded his composer’s skill and works. I swore I would make him famous one day…… and I did! I gave him my money and Renauld’s Theatre. I jump ahead, but from that moment, when my best buddy succumbed to my Gift, he was different. A complete changed person.
I WON’T EVER FORCE ANYONE AGAINST HIS WILL AGAIN! Do you hear me Lestat?!! I must awaken myself.
I stopped reading at this point, touched to tears. Seldom do I weep unless it’s heart wrenching—and I’ve only wept over one film so far, Les Miserable. Lestat went on to detail his regret and frustration with the wooden and numb doll Niki. Then how he almost wanted to follow when he heard the news:
Gabrielle hid the letter from me! It was overdue 3 weeks. The Revolutions had killed all my family, except for my father. The package contained Armand’s friend’s letter. My memory fails me, except that he told me: Niki had gone into the fire. WHAT! I rubbed my eyes to see again but I was a night creature, able to read in the dimmest light. I don’t know why I still brood over it. But the notion haunts me, could I ever save him if I didn’t take off from Paris. Lestat de Lioncourt, is he a coward? No! Perhaps to deny this, Lestat went on with many adventures with his merry companions.
“Bianca, hey, what’re you doing? Reading?” the owner of this journal called. I startled and clutched it to my breast. Stat raised an eyebrow and walked over to me. “Did you like it?”
“Y—yea. Wonderful. Stat,” I wanted to confess that I was sorry I’d opened it to this page. He kissed my head, jubilant. Yellow glow of his aura and buzzing.
“Sorry I neglected you guys,” he told us innocently, “I’ve almost completed the song I promised. Cherie, come be my audience.” I remembered his entry—Lestat is he a coward? Whenever someone mentions himself as a third person, he’s suicidal. In this case, the vampire couldn’t die.
I shouldn’t have kept silent. He decided to find out why. Took the journal and he gasped. His chest rose once from agitation. “This!” A grimace and horror tightened his perfect angel’s features. “Why, how—“
"I didn’t mean it. I knocked it over.” I left quickly, small inside. How could I bear to listen to that music? Lestat dashed in front of me, in a blur and I bumped into him.
It’s okay honey. I’m… not mad at you. Just, it was intended for myself only. Want me to wipe out the memory for you? I’ll do later, okay? he gushed.
Then my friend acted his super cheery self for my benefit. I never got to hear that piece.
Friday, August 18, 2006Chapter 35 Insensitive males? Haha
My next statement in bright orange: Males are so insensitive, when I’m eating, their usual comment is: don’t, you’ll grow fat! Darn and I feel so hurt when that’s said.
“Me and Louis don’t!” Lestat was indignant.
I answered: bisexuals don’t that’s why! Hoo hoo!
Stat wrote: haha, so not funny. He asked Louis to come join us. “Defend the males!
Endangered.” Since bisexual, I commented they ought to circle M/F. it was all funny. When we’d covered both the papers with scrawls and crazy handwriting, the adults leaned back and declared no more.
“Don’t think you’ve won. It’s just the beginning,” Louis argued. The blond gestured victory sign for the males. I bounced up and down.
“Oi. What now?” Puppy prince demanded to know. I did a super smilie. He curled up my hair with one finger. I tried to move away, it hurt. Owww.
The phone rang. Released.
Brat answered. “Yes? It’s me speaking. Hang on. (found paper and pen) okay. 2458-CAL. Got it. Thank you, no I don’t want those. Bye.”
“What was it?” we piped up when Brat hung up.
“Oh I ordered some lava lamps. The person wants commission so he recommended me some other kinds of lava lamp. I only want violet and green.”
“No pink?” I asked forlornly. It’s not my fav color, but I’ve always wanted it to be a light in my bedroom. Out of stock when I ordered.
He sighed like the oldest man he is, “I just hung up telling him I don’t want that. I don’t like pink, dancing dressing pink too? Awful!” He touched my arm and nodded to the catalogue.
Louis cleared his throat like onstage. We swiveled round to look at him. “Nobody asked my opinion! I don’t like violet or green, master!” Stat was resigned to our decision, since he did not consult both of us.
“So I’ll tell them to change. (Louis smilingly said I want gold!) Hello? Yes I changed my mind, include one gold, one pink lamp. Is it okay to have them in Saturday evening? 7pm,”he spoke to the man. “Uh huh. Yep, just come right up. I’ll tip you if you’re early. Merci. Have a good night.” A good mood, he doesn’t add nice comments after/
Nights are yours alone---- little special tidbit
After a trip to New Orleans to see his adopted family (some witches and his street friends) and doggie, the musician was exhausted. He’d flown straight. Fainted when he landed back here. I couldn’t really talk to him as he needed sleep. Today was the third day and Lestat was just taking it easy. To cheer him, we smuggled in clothes and toys. Smuggle game, he pretended not to know we were coming. Made no difference as he was not that alert. I made him laugh, wiggling the animals in his face. “You don’t give me enough space, guys! Asking for favors, cherie?” he complained, not petulantly or unkindly.
He was stressed by stocks’ news (given his poor luck these days and he was less generous with us) and refused to take those calls. I was decreed: the Royal message taker. First to know who called, then if important I would bear the cordless in and announce healines. November 16, 1030pm. The voice was like a singer’s, thought it was male. “Lestat? Is it you? I’m Rowan.”
“Uh… uh,” I hesitated. Heartbeat fast. Doctor lady, specific instructions from Princie was not to hang up! “Hang on.” I flew upstairs, burst into his room with a war cry. Louis, in the patient’s place, frowned at me. Shush, want some peace!
Soft music was playing. I said in huge mental italics: It’s Rowan. Where’s he?
Inside showering. After Louis told me, Lestat switched on the tap and the water sprinkled onto tiles.
“Who is it?” the occupied vampire asked. But he didn’t poke his head out. Aw, why bathe now? Usually he doesn’t till he smells like a barn! Or when his skin is sticky which he dislikes. I didn’t answer, wanted to keep it a big surprise. I pressed my lips. The dark haired vampire agreed with a wink and helped me pull my collar straight.
Rowan wanted to know why I was silent. “Hey Miss Mayfair. He’s going to come out soon.”
“Worse? Oh no!” she cried. And I thought she’s Miss Cool.
I assured her, “No no, Lestat is healthy.”
From inside the toilet, he called. Echo---“Guys!!!! Can’t find my bathrobe! Help me take one!” He held the door close, so I only saw the glimpse of his shiny white skin. I wanted to peep. Felt Louis tap my shoulder.
A soft pink one. He was finally ready. I smiled Kodak.
“Guess. Your mate.”
He gasped, turned red. Only this woman can make him like this. I’m not prepared yet!
Omg, how how….he was thinking. His hair was dripping, dark blond from moisture, soap smelling. Then Stat recovered his composure, took over the receiver. I played with his purple crescent medallion, while his buddy began drying his hair skillfully.
“Yes, honey. No don’t rush down. I’m fine. Oh, I didn’t know. Thought you were too busy. Kind of tired.. yea (pause as he listened for a while) how are your projects? Uh huh uh huh. (hang- on to every word, his grey eyes filled with humor) I agree, absolutely! Haha, no problem. Experiments sound fun. Please don’t hesitate to call me to go down. That was my best friend. She lives with me and Louis. Not ours.
“Quinn, heard from him? So busy these days. College is tough eh? How are Michael, Ashara, Gerald? Hmm. (His expression was soft tender, laugh) It’d be delightful. My address: Lestat de Lioncourt, no alias, 67 Chestwood Algaria (he spelt it), 20 at the back. Number 84, Laconia District. Yep. The island of Freemandling. Sure you can fly here but it ain’t on the map.”
Louis snagged on a tight screw curl and his maker yelped silently, glaring. Still he concentrated on saying a complete goodbye to Rowan. Picture mushy poems.
I bounced up and down, couldn’t wait till he stopped.
“She’ll write to me. So I gave her my address. We’re in touch again. Been almost 8 years of separation. Louieeee, don’t be jealous. Rowan’s my soulmate. I love all of you equally.”
He understood. Lestat clarified this. Louis nodded his firm no prob. Our hearts melted at his tender grateful expression.
I squeezed him. You happy, love?
Thank you for hurrying me. At least I talked to her! I was missing her so much and she called.-------- Stat mused. He put his arm about me and cuddled. Added“ My lucky charm.”
Better? Since you bathed.
“Yes. I didn’t like the humidity.” He took out a long shirt with Pooh bear. We all guffawed. “Oi oi a gift. From a little boy. I think it’s normal to be in touch with your childhood self. I like this a lot.” Sounded so defensive and sulky that we would laugh.
After he lay down for not even a sec, he kicked off the bedclothes and paced. Must have completely bounced back from his weariness. I wondered if he was going outside for socializing.
“Better mood now… so come and play the piano.” Lestat perked up at this thought.
I moaned, “Don’t want.”
“Practice is important. We don’t have anything left to discuss. I’ve run out of books. Unless, you’ve something to ask… How’s the review coming along?” This was to 1) recommend nice stuff that teens like in this century so he could relate to us, 2) let him understand me better. It is his trademark phrase ‘we are defined by our type of novels’ . I felt respected because he made it a point to get one copy and we could discuss.
“I don’t know…”
“Then let’s play. Please.” Brat p. stopped at the doorway and made the lights brighter. Remember the please he used when I was stuck in his house? The domineering do it please.
But I didn’t admit he won. “You’re happy enough.”
He wailingly sang,“Bianca, nooooo. I haven’t got even a card, or well wishes. Wonder where my True friends have gone… huh!” This time there was a redeco. Four big blue and green lamps. I looked up. The overhead fluorescents were gone! Lit by other oil lamps near the windows. No curtains, to prevent fire. It reminded me of the original old Rue Royale.
“Relax. Only 2, so no one will provoke our Louis to become the Firemaker.” I laughed at this imitation of the monster. “So, is it to your taste?”
“Yea. When did you do this?”
“Marvellieux. Last week before I went to New Orleans. Hey, sorry I didn’t tell ya, did you call me?”
“I did. Ohhh.”
“I just missed my doggie and rent lady so much. Mojo was like I had never left him. These are Orlean style, during the French Quarter era. Many houses still maintain the theme of gardens within the home.” Sunflower and bougainvillea made the wallpaper look like a forest.
He added, “Cherie, I’m gonna bring in new plants, real ones. Can you help me water them? (I was happy to) Then it’s settled. I designed all of this and the best thing was the wallpaper- people knew my friend! He gave me a special price. It’s so much more comfortable to play now.” Lestat made it so graceful, archaic and special that I couldn’t protest.
Tonight I did his new song and watched him conduct. We were very busy.
Then like a typical person of this race, he got quiet and brooding.
“Nicolas de Lenfent. Tonight is his death anniversary.” Oh How I could forget him?
“Oh. I am sorry.” I noticed the blond was haggard and drained. Tears brimmed and threatened to spill over.
I feel like dedicating him a classic piece. It’s ok, if you don’t want to hear. Would you like to?
Will I cry? I do not mind.
Lestat opened a violin case resting behind the patio, almost reverently. Hmm, maybe you will. Tell me how well I made it alright?
The instrument was handy and convenient, snug at the chin. The vampire applied the bow, pulling and pushing to produce the most haunting music I’d ever heard in my life! It swirled the emotions, from anger to sorrow, the different rushes of impulse and adrenaline. Maroon, gold, silver, orange, black. His eyes closed, in a world entirely his own. I’m not sure if it was both of them or only Nic? No one can touch me. I love him so, and I abandoned him. My sweet friend of old days. Paris, theatre, acting, cleaning the floors, collecting tickets. It was truly a 3D experience, and I felt very very sad by the finish of it.
Lestat was perspiring and collapsed into the nearest seat. He pressed his head into his fists. I was so touched. Louis, in black, and watching his master in such a pitiful state, shedding tears silently. Bianca, do not tell him. I’ll just be outside if he needs me….
“Krystal.” Weary voice. Lestat was kneeling before me. I stopped him, took his hands. He implored me.
“See him anywhere? In this room?”
I Sought for the spirit. Yes, in here. With us. The ghost of Nicolas de Lenfent, a small youth and brown coat.
I watched him at the corner. “Um yea. There. Do you see him yourself?”
Stat turned and fixated the corner but shook his head. I swear I wasn’t hallucinating. My ability heightens with atmospheric static with the passing on of a soul. It was chillingly cold and froze my hair.
“Can’t. I think he doesn’t want me to…”
The spirit indicated he wanted me to speak for him. I felt a presence walk into me and I was talking in olden francaise (some part of it )---‘ I miss you, Lestat. I understand my condition now. I am no longer jealous. In fact, it’s been thousands of years! I wanted to find you before I leave Earth. J’adore. I’ve found you at last.’
Light headedness. Lestat held me close and communicated his pain and suffering. I heard sobbing. Was it my teacher, or was it the ghost? I patted his back and stroked. He clung to me as if he couldn’t live on. “Don’t hold back. It’s alright. He will be at peace now, Stat. Don’t be sad anymore.” I think I said.
Someone said my name. I came to myself and examined my hands and feet. No change. Still me.
The musician sat back, drying his face on his sleeve. Thank you. Want to be alone now. To reflect. Nic is happy now, isn’t he? Did you see the light?
That I had not, for I was in a trance. My head felt like wool.
Then I stood up and walked out. Louis was anxious. Anxiety buzzed in mellow orange and blue. “ What happened? He’ll be…”
“No. he’ll live, “I felt certain and positive of this. The blond was sniffling, held a wad of tissues and kneeling still at the sofa. I knew he’s an adult so it is bad to leave him alone and hanging, but if Brat says he’s ok, he is. “What happened?” the quiet guy asked. He tried to sound rationale.
So Louis didn’t see the Light either. I explained briefly, but left out the music part. It was too hard to talk about. Pointe simply said it was fine. We went to see a happy movie. Halfway through, Bratprince clad in a black long sleeve asian shirt, entered with popcorn. He sat on Louis’s side and watched too.
“Yay!” Lestat slipped me a note. I opened it in bed.
To Krys: I saw Nickie! He spoke to me about his wanderings. He’d tried to find me, but it seems I had shut him out. I don’t know why. I’d have contacted him but I didn’t dream of him. When I played the music, I think Nic was released from bondage. What do you think? Next time when I wanna call him, would you help? Thank you in advance. I was so reluctant to let him go. I shall miss him. At least I know he’s found closure. I can be at peace too.
Didn’t want to scare you crying like that. So uncontrolled and childish huh? Haha. I’m alright now, you can treat me normal. It’s ok to tell Louis-chan about this, except I think it’s too complicated. Want to let you know. Thank you for being my best friend and student. Lots of love: Lestat
I waited for a good mood time to ask about Paris and etc. Fridays were my good mood days and I felt recklessly offguard. “May I know why? You didn’t focus on that.”
He bit his lip. Heat rose in his chest. I apologized.
“It’s ok. I’ll go over this again. Try to listen carefully,” he said, seeming to lose patience. Then he reined in the fury, thinking She’s a child. I promised…. And sounded better when he re explained chromatic and diatonic semi-tones. You have to count the notes after and see if flat or sharp is to be added.
When there was no more to speak about, I asked him why all the knowledge was erased once maker and fledge had become clean with each other. He looked at his marker, speaking in lilting notes. “All information that’s personal is given over. Take today’s example, when I share someone’s knowledge, I have to give mine as well. Even the past which I hate to reveal. All this is locked in long term memory and hardly comes up.”
I asked, “Long term memory? But you hardly remember it.”
Lestat nodded. “In fact we don’t, at all. But I don’t know why.… it’s not worth talking about now. (more petulant tone) it’s like asking why people have dark skin in Africa.” He was very unhappy with the marker. He squiggled on the board, and the ink was diluted. Tossed it in the bin.
I sat up on the high stool and watched him. Lestat glanced at me. One eye was violet and with a blink was gone. “We can trust each other. You agreed not to withhold anything. I can keep secrets.”
“Bianca. I cannot tell you what’s forbidden. I’ve told you enough. I will decide what’s essential and necessary for your people to be safe from our kind. Enough questioning!” he snapped, walking off. I was left with a question mark. How did that eye become violet?
Lestat changed topics immediately when Ivan noticed too. When was the frightening period when he became famous? Or his speech with the Devil himself? His seatch for goodness? I couldn’t find those chronicles. It’s too RA. Not suitable. You don’t need to know that ugly side of me. I love you. Isn’t that enough? He would supply pleadingly. Sometimes Brat p was furious and disappeared into his room to cool off. I would not persist. But when he sounded pleading, I took a chance.
After all, he said that it’s ok to ask questions and don’t have barriers between us?
We discussed ethics and personality differences. It helps to know and understand these.
Louis and I were in his room. We were just chilling, but to this ancient guy, he was supposed to be using the time fruitfully. “Krys, it’s ok. We don’t hafta be extremist and exclude my Maker. By the way, do I really act philosophic?”
“When you read poetry, yea.” I drew up my knees so I could be smaller in size. “You’re a middle child right? That means you can be a bit… forgive me, demented. And you’re too soft, to the extent you can’t stand being bullied!” I remarked. I waited for an outburst but he blinked quietly at me. Still thinking about this, if it’s in the context of an insult?
“Did you just tease me? Or was it unintentional insult, abuse?” Louis said slowly. I burst out laughing. He smiled.
“Unintentional abuse. Sorry, no, I’m Not sorry,” I decided.
My frank opinion of him is summed up like this: “ I like it that you’ve got a worldview which is more objective., Louis-chan. You make people comfortable, equal so they don’t get defensive. The demented part- how you burnt people and houses down? Yea. I recall that. Cool arsonist!”
Louis was inside wishing that I didn’t make it sound like it was a wonderful show. Lestat fumed outside.
Hey stop this! What wrong did I do? Don’t ignore me!—splash red alert color.
Sorry, Lestat. I wanna spend time with your bf. I’ll talk to ya later.
Brat peeped in, holding a tv guide. He made a face. “Come out and talk to me k? After you’ve finished. Hey, Star Wars is showing at nine. Want to watch? Let’s watch together.” I said alright, and it managed to rid him for a while.
Movie or Serials- wise,
Normally we cannot watch a show together, all three of us. The Ls like the old black and white MGM shows, Elvis Presley and musicals. I cannot stand those. I only like Modern- the science fiction and blockbuster action types . These genres are alright with Princie. To tell the truth, Lestat would give anything, even if film’s in my people’s language Anikirin , just for some company.
We even began to view those corny gameshows like Fear Factor and Amazing Race. Can you imagine a person of such high IQ wants to resort to seeing that?? Quinn and Mona Hate the Fear Factor. David loves all wordshows and supermarket competitions. They all got different levels of aesthetic. But I don’t mind the Wheel of Fortune. The Brat gets a kick out of guessing the mystery words. He’s into competing with ‘those dumb mortals’ and arguing with Armand. He only gets him over as a debating opponent or something!
Louis and me usually read books together. He won’t watch blockbusters. The first time we saw the Korean war show was exceptional. The dark haired guy will not mind a foreign film. He was gaga over the Wu Jian Dao, a Chinese detective movie about the gangsters in Hongkong. The whole set ok? Quote Stat: Again? Oh no, I like detectives but it’s too Much for me.
I act as a middle link between both of them. I cannot connect them together, so I have to pass messages if Louis doesn’t call back as he promised, vice versa. The blond becomes super antsy. Sometimes it’s miscommunicated in which both will turn against me. I plead innocent!
Suppress your wanting. it may wreak havoc on your relationships…. Think of a locket,” Lestat related it to a fist over his heart.
I asked to cut his hair to make a locket.
He cocked his head and thought about this. Puzzled. “Why? I’m still here.”
I laughed and touched his cheek, some fluffy locks brushing my hand tenderly.
“I’m not gonna do voodoo. Doubt it’ll work on you,”
He let the fringe fall forward, looked up at the hair. “Ok, cut then. Needs some trimming.”
I snipped off a handful, loaded it into a locket I had bought. His hair smelled like him, also of midnight blossoms… I shut it. The vampire looked at me, waiting for my explanation.
I provided only this, “But you can’t ask me why.”
He was miffed and folded his arms. “What? Supposed to beg you is it? Why do you wanna make a remembrance of me?” Sounded highly suspicious. Oh yea, before Claudia hurt him, she’d baited him with poison.
I took out my music book and busied myself doing revision exercises. Of course I wasn’t plotting to kill my best friend! Were you guys thinking of that too? I had done it to switch, until I could find a period when Stat was more open talking about the forbidden. You see, I’m quite resilient.
The blond attributed it to my brightness. “Fine fine, you are my student. I’ll have to accept that your intelligence will supersede mine one day. I won’t beg you. Will find out.”
I doodled my name all over the front. He stared off into space, immediately closing up when I was interested in what he was thinking. I repeated that I can keep secrets, but he refused to engage me. Must be so troubled, coz he was easily distracted…..
“Princie. Can I talk about Magnus? Why do you feel angry when he’s brought up. The other time, you yelled at your girlfriend too when she asked.” You must be thinking, am I mad? The blond marquis was always blowing or blown up if we so much as breathe his name.
“No. I’m tired, my child. We’ll stop here.” After a pause he spoke coldly, “I told you, he was the bastard who did this to me. I am grateful, if you need to know.”
While saying this, the vampire was twisting a ring off his finger, a huge fake one not worth thousands. It was one of those kinds which he only wore for one night, and then disposed of. Blood seeped out.
“Here. Don’t be so rough,” I told him, holding out a packet of tissue.
I went to the bathroom for a bar of soap. Next I rubbed his finger with it, until it got so slippery. Lestat struggled not to yell. Yes! The ring fell off, mingled with dark blood. I looked at it, transfixed. Same as our blood!
“Thanks, sweetie. No, don’t suck it.” The cut healed. Eh? The ring had an initial of M. not Magnus, coz he was obviously a hated figure. Dunno why it stuck so hard to my finger, he wondered. Maharet, why I respect her so much….
Who is she? Forbidden too, I queried.
Goodnight. I need to sleep, then cuisine… so run along, Lestat told me hurriedly.
I took out some notes and coins, dumping them on the table. “What now?” he groaned. “I don’t want to be paid.”
“No I’m not… just thinking if you’d like that birthstone. It’s 60.oo. just nice, counting all the one dollar coins here. Hmm… or you could buy something to make you happy. Pleease.”
He frowned at me acutely. Inside was all troubled and worrying, grey swirls…. Made me giddy. Finally the blond put the money inside his pocket. We went to retire. When I came back down to bring my schoolpack up again, I noticed a sheaf of paper. They who must be------ it was torn off there.
His diary was very crisp and short these days. ‘Very tired and won’t write much. Marius said I think too much. But I do. How can I forget my daughter so quickly?’ Why couldn’t Lestat concentrate these nights? If he wasn’t worried about his own health… then what was wrong? Meanwhile, I got Louis to accompany me, because Stat got more and more distant…..
While drawing my kirin, mystery and aura, I was thinking why Stat had to end his singing career. He always missed that and never hesitated to tell me of his yearning. I never suppress myself, Lestat said. So why then did he suppress his singing?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006Disclosure, cha 32
Louis has never-ending patience, exactly how an immortal operates. When I come home dejected, Pointe is always ready to listen. He doesn’t need a doctorate in psychology. My cousin’s therapist is crazy, so what if he’s got a doctorate! He will try to force my cousin to take action. That’s Not the way. For example, an eye for an eye if the person offended you too long. The late riser wakes at 6, which is the usual time to get back. If I’m hungry? He’ll have asked the maids to prepare in advance so hot meals are there for me.
I love the bedtime stories. I’ve tried to get him to be spontaneous but when he says a joke, I can’t laugh. “Oh. That was supposed to be funny.” Louis will sound mildly affronted.
More than twice, Lestat in a bid to get our attention back cried,
“Nah. Mine is better. The bunny pulled itself out of Wonderland lala and oof, he became a yellow hat.” We’d glare at him. “What?”
He’s ruining my good scout month project, less Lestat attention, more Louis
attention. The brat runs outside, singing loudly and pretending to be spending valuable Alone timing.
An unusual time was when Stat said he would give me a lesson but he didn’t come back. It was eight thirty and we were supposed to begin at seven. I was waiting for a message, Not by cellphone, by mind-speak.
Where are you? I’ll go to bed early. I Sent.
In five, his voice came Faroff. I’m so , so sorry darling. I forgot. I’m waiting for somebody. He didn’t turn up. It’s urgent.
So around what time will you get back? Let’s cancel the lesson ok? ----- I replied.
I related this to the dark haired vamp hovering beside me. He sighed.
No Please. Half an hour more. Damn! Now he’s gonna lecture me. Marius’s new assistant Ewan.-------- After a while, he continued------- Dammit! K, I gotta go for this briefing on some new laws they’ve started. All because I wanted a say in the Coven’s rules. Looks like we’ll postpone the lesson, Bianca. In hues of blue: So sad. Don’t sleep just yet. I’ll most probably return around ten. Wait for me.
I shook my head and laughed. Honestly you can be so sweet. Okay. Have fun, Statie.
Yuck. Going for parliament isn’t funny. See ya. Don’t go sleep without my special kiss.
I laughed as he pulled out of reception. I think this business of not being able to connect with your lover is “F-ing,”
“Krystal! That’s why we vampires should think who we want as lifelong partners or girlfriends before a major blood transfusion. Lestat recently told me Marius is making a whole Law about this and we must follow. It is irritating for us And our ancestrals constantly getting complaints from incompatible master and fledglings. We’ve got to set an example to the lamia (preternaturals who can give birth), and the danger of the Gold Hunters.”
I sobered. At this point, Marius, Lestat and the seniors are all gathering the stray vampires without any protection from groups. If they present a united front, the Hunters will be put out of commission. I feel relieved when I heard this, because I don’t want to see another person suffering. My people the Shapeshifters of Artemis, still remain neutral about persecution of Different races. Those Hunters can turn on us with their use of biochemicals. They seem to have lain low at the moment.
“So Louis, lemme make this clearer. In exchanging blood with one another, you learn each other’s secrets. Everything?”
“Absolutely,” he confirmed with a telepathic image of a red marker underline. “It’s a fair exchange of knowledge, like asking each other- who are you, what’s important to you. Then afterwards, it’s a solid wall barricading master and Children. Fledglings can all hear each other, so it’s the most frustrating for the Maker.”
I frowned at what I’d typed out. “It sucks. This business, it’s disclosing EVERY thing about yourself! And you’ve got nothing to hide. But later the masters become very angry with you and you cannot understand all over again!”
The mild vamp didn’t react to the defense of his people. “Yes. Lestat and us have these issues. He’s very determined to know what we All think of his actions. Does he talk to you and Ivan about his unhappiness?”
I laughed at the very defensive Prince picture. Whenever he discloses about his naughty Children, he’ll become super-dramatic. Lestat won’t backstab people, unlike how we treat him. He’ll talk about his sweet, boisterous and affectionate friends. But he often clammed up when we wanted to know more about his past, his mortal life and when he was striving to survive alone. Either silence or ‘that’s not comfortable.’
“Why L2?” Didn’t Stat tell him stuff? He couldn’t keep secrets well.
“Not everything to me,” Louis replied dejectedly. “That’s kind of sad for me. I want to be there for him, but not if he keeps mum.”
I didn’t understand. Louis had been shocked when Brat yelled at him why should I know these things? It is all forbidden. “Can I ask him to explain, lay it out for us? Why he’s so defensive.”
Louis fingered his wedding ring. “I don’t think so. Especially the times in Auvergne and Paris. He wishes to forget. Aren’t there enough details in his bio?”
I noted: look for alternative sources of Stat’s past life.
L:ouis said the most reliable sources would be Gabrielle his mom(conveniently MIA) and Amadeo. Lestat is usually furious or viciously cutting whenever Louis and David (who comes to help with financial matters) invite Armand over. Despite him being a pretty boy and risking our prince’s wrath, we want to welcome Armand and secure our diplomatic ties.
Last Sunday night,
“So the hornet’s disturbing a nest that’s Not his,” Lestat growled, marching in. We were all shocked because we didn’t expect such an early entrance from him. “Explain!”
I went to hide fearing his agitated vampiric voice that was beyond all scale. “Lestat, we’d have asked you. But in all manners we cannot…. Armand’s one of us too. You don’t have a cellphone to contact,” David reasoned.
“Didn’t I state CLEARLY, no strangers in the home,” the blond interrupted, “ We have mortal guests. They could be hurt.”
I made a ball under the table and covered my ears. Owowow.
“I wouldn’t hurt Anybody, or any intention to! I just came to see how things are. You’ve been sick too,” Amadeo retorted. I felt sorry for him. He was sincere.
“Louis (with the s, which highlights Lestat’s end of redhot fury and beginning of ice cold war), are the children here?” he asked. His tone was still mad, but he was making effort to keep the beast under control.
“Yes. They will be afraid if we quarrel,” Louis pleaded.
I prayed that the glass wouldn’t break. Last time he screamed, all the front French windows crashed out. It cost a lot to fix them! The contractor clean cheated our money.
Lestat directly addressed Amadeo, “ I don’t need your concern. I’m fine. In fact it’s worse when my house rules are violated.”
Hey man, I’m sorry. You don’t have to go if you don’t wanna. Louis and all of us welcome ya.-------- I sent to Armand, blocking this from the hostile vampire.
Thank you. I’ll be going now. Aloud he bade them au revoir.
“Brat prince, you really are too much. He was just being friendly. Goodness,” David scolded him. “Hello Ivan. How’s it going?”
“Hi guys. How come you got back so fast?” my bro asked Lestat.
He murmured that he was not going to embrace someone who acted hypocritical overnight. Brightly, Brat prince turned to my bro, “Hey Ivan! I wanted to see you. Let’s go out together sometime.” I felt him smile.
My brother laughed like a cat, purring. David reminded the last marquis about hospitality and politeness.
“David, I don’t like him. You didn’t get my permission to let him in (overriding both their protests) I am the owner of this place. Unless the children aren’t in, you don’t bring dangerous people from outside! That is final. ”
He crossed the room and came to the table. His new shoes. “Did I scare you? My apologies. I’m all right now.” He knelt, his visage impassive and calm. I took his hand. However Stat’s smoldering fury, like embers that won’t go out even when the fire’s died, was still there.
Louis ignored all of us and was fixated by the tv,
Tuesday, August 15, 2006Chapter 31: New clothes~! My walled up self
But he didn’t like the business shirts cut to size, they were too tight. I chose a couple of vertical stripes, red, blue, black. Lestat gave big scowls and shook his head at them. Do you think I need new nightclothing? I want outing clothes. He said dryly.
“Don’t you have lace or silk?” They stared incredulously.
I laughed. “Oh, he likes costume of the 1800s. That’s why I’d like you to recommend us some contemporary fashions.” Stress of the C-word.
Bianca------ he moaned. I elbowed him.
A sleeveless one that was a nice yellow, ducked low to his chest. I thought he looked wonderful. And it wasn’t too tight. Lestat chose other shirts that had long sleeves, some of which had a little fake lace at the sleeves. I got my way for one particularly smart grey top with black collar.
Cherie, you won’t want people to see us together, if I’m in ancient wear?
His teeth showed briefly as he gave a deep belly laugh. Oooho. I do not believe you. We like each other too much. He put a guiding hand on my back as we stepped over the kerb.
That was how we met.---- I mused---- When you asked me to be friends, you sounded so lost and needy…. Strangers wouldn’t know this side of you.
Puppy agreed, Yea. I’m not as aloof as I pretend to be. I want to open all our hearts and join them like this (jigsaw fixing)
Lestat. I said his name, smiling. When I say I smile, I’m actually truly doing it inside my head. Yup yup yup.
Yes? He replied, hugging me a little, then releasing me. Glanced towards the trees.
“Our tree. Do you know where it is from here?” He took my hand. We floated upwards. He’s recovered from poisoning, but he needs to take care. Floating upwards gently is less exertion.
“Allow me.” When I nodded, the vampire shifted to holding my waist. “Don’t let go.” I giggled, the wind in my hair and face. How to describe this…. You know how superman flies horizontal forwards? It’s not like this, more flexible. We alternated in different positions, sitting, lying down and standing while we flew.
Touchdown. So Cool! I jumped happily. Our clothes windtossed, hair tousled, some leaves in them. He brushed one from my hair. I didn’t know why, but I twisted away when he bent to kiss me.
His grey eyes showed the pain. “I have to be wary.”
I brushed this off. “Yep you’re right. The tree is over there. C’mon.” After a while I asked if he meant, or ever yearned, to give me the Gift.
Sigh. “Bianca. No. You sense my urge? It comes to a point where it happened. But I won’t, I’ll control it. I can do that. And your blood is poisonous to our race. Miss Krystal.”
When he addressed me, I felt cold. But I wanted Lestat to keep away didn’t I? “It is. I didn’t know.”
The blond walked beside me, lost in thought for a bit there. Thickly, he continued, “It is. I read it from the Chronicles of the Shapers, the one you lent me. I should return it to you one day. Remind me… (poignant) Krys, why do you guard against me? We are not enemies.”
I unfurled my wings, experienced the slight temperature- rise when I willed my body to soften and Change. I flew up the Tree and landed on the top branch. Lestat leapt up agilely, then sat beside me with his legs crossed. The black trousers pressed against his fair skin. Sweat on his face and throat. The light blue shirt was unbuttoned. I looked away.
Fine. Let’s talk--- I plunged ahead not allowing him to speak—I have to be wary around a Blood drinker. Your lessons carry this warning.
I hated myself for sounding so detached, as if I were instructing someone I loathed. I loved him to bits… But I couldn’t break the news just yet.
Lestat wiped his perspiration with his silk handkerchief. The reddish fluid was pinkish. “It is true. But must we always refrain, like this? It is so hard for me… everytime I wanna hold you close, you are afraid. It wasn’t a problem, until these few weeks. At the restaurant, in the theatre and now. Couldn’t you understand?”
I was annoyed. My voice was fierce, “Trust is hard. For our kind, we cannot be close. My family for instance, haven’t you noticed how cold my father’s to us? We’re wild animals, based on instincts. Nothing, nobody can be relied on. Since you’re vampire, you still stick to human principles. ”
The grey eyes were blue now. I didn’t dare look into them.
The shockwaves of head- pounding and some weeping. I sense you. we stick to human morals, but we’re not entirely. You do not? I sense that we cannot be together… but something you’re not saying. We’re different? I thought that isn’t important…. Bianca, could you talk to me? I wanna know. What has happened? He Probed me.
My friend was quite saddened. His hands were red when he rubbed his eyes.
I winced. Um, it’s what I meant to say. Just that. Take the leaf.
Stat plucked some to dab his eyes, sniffling.
To soften this, I think I said nothing would change, and I liked him plenty, along that line. I hugged him and he was surprised at my sudden intimacy.
“What’re you not saying?” Lestat asked.
No, not just yet…. So I switched. “Hey. I was thinking about this… why can’t you be together with one partner? For good?”
It was my last night and it took all my Will to face this truth.
Lestat said without sound---- I have a true soulmate. Vampires do have soulmates. I realize my soulmate was Rowan Mayfair. She’s so fair, so lovely. (a sad faced lady in her thirties, long black hair shorter than mine, wearing a doctor shirt) I don’t care if she has given birth or has a husband. She is the Brainchild in Mayfair Medical Centre. Oversees all the biomedical things they conduct. I always admire smart people. All the stuff in movies count as nothing in this case. Me: “Indeed! I like smarties too.”
But we both suppressed our wants, our selfish forbidden romance.
I cannot make her give up, just cannot!
I didn’t catch that so I asked--- Give what up?
Lestat answered, Give up her life’s work on the hospital. She is going to find cures for Aids, for terminal sickness… Perhaps Rowan has already, I believe in her power. He stopped and looked directly at me. I want you to tell me frankly. You’re not yourself.
It is my last night here, I said angrily. I don’t want to go! But I can’t stay! (he was shocked, a flash of maroon distress) )My father wants to make me go with him. I cannot argue.
Lestat nodded. After some time, he mused, “So… you must be frustrated. I thought you could always stay too. Like you’ve wanted. And Louis and I could watch you grow up.” His pain washed inside of me. His tears were clown’s paint dripping down.
I couldn’t hold back the agony of parting from him. I was human once more. I pressed his shoulder.
I don’t want to go. Lestat, I love this place, all its wonders. I hate him.
Be brave. Maybe it will change. And we can come visit you.
I laughed shakily. Yea and he could both persuade them to let me stay here. On the spur, who knew if it might just work? I was too naïve and too angry that night. I held my friend as tightly as I could manage and let him console me.
The vampire pulled back first. “Hey will the tree feel pain when we cut it?”
“Yea. It can understand. I’ll teach you a phrase: say Maraquis- no diem- sierra lon. To every creature and thing that we are experiencing and to calm them down. We mean no harm, in peace.”
Solemnly he repeated after me as he cut the date in: we had a very meaningful night. Bianca is going to leave and we’re feeling downcast. Thank you. L.Dl and K.B
It was beautiful. “He understands,” I revealed.
Brat closed his eyes, tried to listen to the tree. I felt touched by his sincerity. “I know. I can feel his compassion for all the creatures, including myself, depending on him. He will always protect the secrets here. I hope we can protect him from deforestation too.”
Operation Parents’ persuasion. We roped in Louis too, because it was going to take a hell of a fight to convince both mom and dad. The blond prince was nervous, wanted to select his clothes, so I came with Pointe first.
When the quiet preter entered, a silence cloaked over. My folks just couldn’t take their eyes off him. His Power was a tranquility and different from the Shout out charisma of most vampires. He sat close to them and spoke, “Sir, Madame, I would like to propose that Krystal live with us. We’re much aware of her needs. She’ll be happier here than going away.”
I didn’t speak to maintain the calmness. Dad frowned, as if to fight. Louis’s bright greens stared into his and he lay still. Louis repeated this once more. Kinda like hitting it home. I was so worried, on tenterhooks.
“Did it work?” I whispered. Louis looked strained. He shook his head.
“I tried my best. Here comes my lover. He’ll handle this.” Lestat de Lioncourt came in by the back door, hardly any sound. Dark glasses, checkered short sleeves. He smiled at me.
“Hi people. I ask you in all sincerity, Krystal wants to stay. Louis and I are loving every minute of taking care of her in your absence. Of course I do not mean we’re replacing you. Moving to a new country would be upsetting emotionally. I’m sure you’ll like her to be happy. What do you say?”
“Yes. Our daughter’s happiness is important,” my mom replied and took Lestat’s hand.
I waited for my father. He seemed to be still fighting the control, but it was weak. I looked at Pointe, who gave the thumbs up. “Hmm, all right. it sounds reasonable. But we’ll relocate to Russia. So I thought it’d be convenient to have the whole family together.”
For a moment, my dad awoke from the Persuasion my friends had given and glared hard at both of them. Hostile.
Lestat was thinking: one tough cookie and said firmer, “Ken, (my dad’s name) she’ll be happy here. I’ve always wanted a child. Louis right?”
The other guy said yea and replied, “It is not a problem. Go ahead and not worry. Everything is smooth going. Financial matters aren’t a problem for us. We know, we can take care of it all.”
Father took a lot of energy on both their parts. He was so STUBBORN! I was worried that my friends would need to collapse after this. Eventually, it was settled.
Louis rubbed his temple. Mum and dad said they’d start packing and left.
I noticed that Lestat was fighting not to swoon . “Hey Princie, are you alright? Thank you!”
He smiled wanly. I hugged him. His energy rose.
“I wanna crash. Do you have a spare room?”
We saw Mom off at the airport two hours later, eleven o’clock flight. Since I wasn’t coming along, dad and her decided they would leave for Russia, Moscow already.
She was like a child again with Stat. he talked to her as if she were his mother. I felt jealous. Oi, she’s my mom, I shot to Brattie sulkily. She was so smitten that she didn’t look much at me.
Pleeeease. I have no mummy. Then he became like a son again to her and said all I wanted to say. Sucker up! But I’m teasing, of course I promised to share my good mummy. The great thing about them leaving was I could run free! That made me wave goodbye happily although I wouldn’t see her for another 4 months at least! Stat touched my hair.
He pinched me and said I was selfish. “Goodbye cherie! I’ll look after your children and make sure they grow plump and cute!”
“Hey!” I yelled and hit him. My fingers hurt.
Lestat grinned naughtily and held me easily at arm’s length.
Aaah. You’re so cute. No, school comes first. I promised Madame. No slacking..
Awww! C’mon time to let loose! You said I’m a kiddo, so I can play the fool. WOO!!! I cheered, jumping.
Monday, August 14, 2006Chapter 30: The Fury, Testing the waters
Louis. He’s panicked here, so he speaks harshly to the driver. He feels that he has neglected Stat. I forgot Ginger is given blood so she and Brat p. don’t have mutual telepathy anymore. Tell me if any errors are discovered ok? Thx.
I didn’t visit my friends for a whole week. I was too exhausted to stay up late studying for the finals! Mom told me Louis and Stat left me messages sometimes. On Friday, the end of the nightmare, a call got through.
His bubbly voice: “Hello! You’ve finished right? Wanna see you.”
I fretted. “Hey. I’m ready.”
“Not over the phone. Haven’t got anything tonight. I have been thinking, you’re a good idealist, Krystal,” he said, breathing excitedly.
“Idealist? What’s that?”
“You’ve a lot of potential and capacity to learn and accept new people. I’m sure you’ll succeed in life. Have you eaten? Hope you didn’t get sick.”
“Lestat, I- “ I wanted to confess and felt so guilty. How would he react?
Open, receptive. “Yes? We’re close. Don’t worry.”
But I’m gonna break your big and generous heart. “Nothing. I wanna see you too. Miss youuuu, Brattie.”
I Locked my confusion and bad thoughts. Forced myself to be cheerful and enthusiastic.
He said we’d meet tomorrow. “I feel someone disturbing my telepathy. Ah, and something’s burning. Gotta go now. See you! Love!”
He’s got such a beautiful soul. Can’t bear to betray him. Why am I thinking like this now? His previous relationships have failed, because he’d invested so much but they became hollow. I didn’t want to behave like those traitors. I had so wanted to bash them up for hurting his feelings!
I fastened on his gifts- the earrings of fans and the Swiss bracelet. The amber stones glittering. Don’t think! I think too much, nothing’s wrong. I’m just being paranoid.
I came slightly late at seven thirty. My friend was seated in a dim corner of the restaurant and looking puzzled at his menu. He was only late once, the other time when we walked all over and he told me how timid and unconfident he felt. Perhaps Lestat hadn’t been well too.
I started out apologizing and my guilt flowed out too. “Sorrree. I.. couldn’t um… my shoe was stuck.”
The blond smiled not seeming to notice, not a glance at my shoe or me. He pulled the chair for me and said, “No problem. Come, help me to order. What is this Neapolitan sauce? Is it sweet?”
“Yea. It’s tomato ketchup.”
“K. want to order that? As usual I’ll pay, give you a good treat after your stress. You haven’t eaten well, Bianca. What else?”
“Um. Really? Ok, I want the salad and fat vermicelli, please. One coke. You?” I glanced at my companion. He pursed his lips.
Cannot drink. Don’t like. Want blood.
The waiter stared at him. He was thinking: why ain’t he eating? Anorexic?
“Plain shake for my mate,” I ordered on his behalf. Lestat looked thoroughly nauseated. I said I would help to consume it mentally. To reassure the mortal, I said we would ask for more food afterwards.
Halfway, when I was chewing vermicelli, I decided I wanted to talk about it. The change in his mood dwindled. I should have kept it to myself! With all my prowess of predictions, I had failed to see the pre-effects of whatever I thought.
“I… um… why are they killing people?” supplemented with images from the news, gruesome death of broken necks and blood everywhere. “Your kind…. Clumsy and problematic emotional. When will they learn?” I was blurting it out.
His pupils glowed. “Bianca. I am not like them! I am a principled person, didn’t we discuss this before? Why do you question me? Am I trying to injure anybody?” he spoke, voice rising to hysterics.
I withdrew the images. Too late. Lestat was breathing hard and was really stricken and raging, wounded internally from my mental attack. “I didn’t mean that you-“
Then what the hell do you mean? Oh, that night, you found me, no, US Coldblooded. Don’t think I didn’t hear that! Bianca, we don’t hide things like that. Why hurt me like this? Why now?- he interrupted me with a rapid gush.-- The waiter was looking on, holding his empty tray. Lestat glared at me pointedly.
I felt timid and ashamed too, so I tried to make it okay: I was just. It’s all wrong. I’ve been thinking about these, I like you. That’s why I’m coming clean with it now. An underestimation of my own abilities...He let out a bitter laugh. Dangerous fangs slightly exposed. He went on sharply, “Hm. Coming clean? You are insulting my race. If you liked me…you wouldn’t! I cannot believe we’re speaking to each other!”
People were staring. I looked down at my shoes. Mentally his thoughts were amok: Bianca, pain, this pain hurts. You- you never accepted me! What a big mistake I have made! This phobia, this instinct is dividing us! I am a creature of the night. I thought we could understand each other! I am wrong, so Wrong! Everything’s wrong. Despising my kind, when I can’t help myself. Can’t help myself this way!
He ran out. The waiter was gaping. I told him we would come back. I paid for the salad and vermicelli and Changed as soon as I hit the floor outside. I couldn’t find him. A whiff of his odor and then he was gone in a flash. As I flew , I was calling out his name frantically.
"God, Lestat! I didn’t mean it. I wanna take them back but I can’t! I am sorry! Please don’t run off! Where are you? We need to talk!" ---- I screamed, sending this as powerfully as I could manage.
I landed back at his house.
“Louis. Oh god, Lestat's not home?" I ran in yelling.
"No. Why?" Louis held my shoulders. He was puzzled.
"It’s all my fault. Oh Louis. I talked about the murders. He thought I was blaming all of you. No no….” I sobbed, hugging him. Louis stroked my hair and told me it was alright.
“When he calms down, he’ll return. He’s a master at finding his way. Lestat heard what you said. I was hoping you’d not bring it up,“ Louis remarked in a steady voice that belied his panic. The handsome face was tight with anxiety.
Quinn didn’t blame me either. “Boss’s quite short these nights. He needs some alone time.”
Crumpled and wet tissues on the table. I hoped he would respond, but no answer. C’mon, please please let him answer me.He feels giddy if he exerts too much strength. How’ll I not blame myself?
You think all the people who are people, are the people who look and think like you.
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you learn things you never knew. – Colors of the Wind. MAJOR BLOWUP. Great job m’dm! Why had I said such hurtful things? It was our night. Lestat had heard but chose to ignore my disgust, my discrimination.
'You’re open and accepting. And it’s two and a half years. Our precious bond.' Since I was younger than he was, Lestat had opened his heart to me, risking every second of Reading my thoughts and being accommodating. He had given me too much credit for my gentleness. I had just opened fire with a sniper continuously into his chest.
He’s sensitive! Why didn’t I remember that in time?
“Louis. He’s not answering me. Will he be rash?” I worried. I checked the phone. It was connected.
Then a voice that didn’t sound like Brat said he was in a fix. I’m very weak… come here. Just transfused…. He showed me blurry vision of a place, a clearing.
Becoming tunneled. Harsh respiration.
Where? Where? Wait! I cried out. Foggy image of a park, forest….few trees. Don’t panic. I’m gonna pass out. Blackout.
Stat! stat! come back! Wake up! “Guys. He’s passed out!” I gasped.
Louis went pale.
We rushed to the cab stand, intercepting an old couple. “Emergency. Sorry!” Quinn shouted, planting thoughts of hospital in their minds. The old folks were puzzled and reeling. Quinn got in the front, me and Louis in the back. Pointe’s mind was racing, wishing he had said this or that to Lestat, been more appreciative of his love. He was in full fledged panic mode, so he wasn’t thinking logically.
We went to all the possible places with trees and clearing. We didn’t get any more transmissions. It was touch and go. I forced myself to stay calm, not to picture bad things happening to my best friend. That I was gonna see him again! Louis was snappy with the taxi driver, since we didn’t console him.
“Cut the light! ” Louis ordered the driver when it was still red. He was shaking and reverberated icy chills. I looked to Quinn.
“Sonnie. I ain’t breaking the traffic rules,” the husky voice answered.
“Louis. We’ll pay you more. I’m so sorry for this,” Blackwood Jr said hastily, Sending calmness. I told Louis Brat’d be fine. And not to worry.
Finally we got to the Eastern forest. It’s got lots of trees and there’s a hidden military academy there. Two figures on the ground. Lestat was on his back, knocked out. His chest was moving feebly.
Quinn and Louis went to Prince. The other person was a girl, white faced, blood on her lips. She was stiff and struggled to breathe. I knelt beside her.
“No… dying. Don’t touch,” Brat whispered and leaned against Quinn’s shoulder. He tried to sit straighter, but failed. I peeked at her, stroking sensei’s damp cheek.
“You need to drink, NOW, ” Louis nagged. “Why? You know your body’s in poor health and yet---“
“Stop whining. I’ll be fine when I’ve rested enough. Don’t move me.” It was humorous that Puppy was firm and not whimpering from the jadedness. The self-made gash on his wrist was healing nicely, closing up totally. Lestat looked at us individually. He did not talk to me.
The girl had brown hair and very red lips now. She was growing bigger, fatter around the chest. Huh? Not shriveled but becoming more fit. White skin like milk. All scars, blemishes and marks are gone. It is the magic of vampirism.
“Hey gal. not too near. Come back,” Quinn and Louis said anxiously.
She blinked ethereal blue purple eyes and looked at herself. “Hi,” I greeted her.
The blond brushed off his dirty clothes and looked directly at her.
Her name was Ginger. She’d almost drowned. Stat explained to us with illustrations- Since she was desolate and didn’t want the pain of gasping, I gave her our Gift. Her lungs are scarred from cancer. To her he spoke aloud, since they are master and fledgeling- “You have immortality. No one save the sun can kill you. Now, Ginger. Go and feed. I showed you how. Come find me when you need help.”
I have my friends. They can put me up, Ginger said mentally and aloud too. But in her voice was some gratitude.
Yes, Louis said. Go quickly. Before sunrise, you need to sleep in a safe place.
The new fledgling took off running. Lestat was trying to sit up now by himself.
“Sure you can manage?” they asked.
“I’m okay. Don’t fuss.” He stood up. Slowly gaining his bearings. I told him I was sorry. He held up one hand. “Now cherie. I’m still tired and disoriented. Let’s go home first.”
He sauntered in front, resisting our efforts in telling him to slow down. “Lestat!”
I called out. Oh brother!
The three of them went off to hunt. In searching for sensei, they hadn’t had their meal yet. And Lestat needed to coz he was exhausted and weak.
The guys handed me the keys and made me go home first. I tried to be patient while waiting and busied myself with arranging the flowers. Then I gave up making the poppy stand tall and let it flop over. The hour passed quickly. I felt drowsy watching the hour hand move over to 11.
Tick tock tick. The door opened. “Hey we’re back!” Blackwood guy greeted me. I jolted awake and yawned.
The other two seemed to be arguing. Lestat for once wasn’t yelling to Louis’s prodding. “Why did you? Must I remind you that you’re not up to this sort of thing? Vulnerable…. Weakened, die…. How old are you?”
Lestat scowled handsomely and locked up the door.
“Look, I called before I fainted. It was deserted, nothing would have happened,” Brat grumbled, hanging his coat. He kicked off his shoes. I made space for him. He glanced at me absently.
I cocked my head. Inside his head- Louieeee. Shut up now. I’m so beat. Wanttosleep!!!!
“But still-“ Relentlessly, Pointe du lac wasn’t going to let him get away with silence. Of course B. Prince wasn’t silent at all.
Quinn shrugged. His dark curls were damp and tumbled wildly over his eyes. Azure eyes. I felt smitten by them. “Hey you love each other. boss. He’s sorry enough.”
“No I’m not. I’m older, I can do whatever I want.”
Louis gave up. He disappeared, perhaps to write his diary. But unlike the open prince, he forbade us to read his entries. Sad! We could learn more.
I said I’d go to bed. Made to leave.
“Where? Don’t. Stay here,” Stat pleaded. He wasn’t angry anymore.“ Bianca.” He patted his lap. I hesitated.
We’ve fed well. Go. My boss is quiet now.
Haha, Q. I know. Thanks. You talked to him?--- I returned.
A bit. He was being scolded down by his bf. Shh, don’t tell Pointe I said that. In moral absolution! Aaah! Ok, go. “
"Lestat I didn’t mean you. I know you’re principled. I guess I should’ve explained properly. And I’ve not been polite. Were you mad because I didn’t treat you with respect?” I tucked myself under his chin. He clasped both hands together over me and sighed gently.
“Ooooh. No. I don’t care about rules. People have all been rude to me. I just… I just saw red. I thought you were gonna abandon me and tell me what Louis always goes into: that we’re evil and we shouldn’t do this, do that. “ he said (gesturing less coz I was near him) , “I felt limited. Of course, I know it’s my choice. That is the problem! I get so hotheaded I can’t think clearly.”
After a pause while I collected my thoughts, the blond held me close. I felt a little scared.
He explained more patiently than he ever had in his whole existence-
“Cherie, I am what I am. All of us, even mortals. Since you are my student and I am your sort-of guardian… can we have a mutual agreement? Please do not think that I’d harm you or your family, or friends. Our kind aren’t supposed to go around breaking necks, legs or arms. Marius’s coven has set this new rule. Those may not have been Blooddrinkers. Could’ve been weres, stronger.”
I shook my head, moved so that I faced him directly. I kissed his lips, cool and soft for a hardbodied man. Lestat was surprised. He went pale.
“Hey I think I’ll go off now. Need rest,” I replied and hopped off.
“Don’t, stay a while more,” he whispered, holding my hand. Very soft grip. “I hate loneliness. Do you not recall? I’ve a phobia of that.”
I glanced at him in surprise too, “Forgiven me so fast? I’ve been so naughty.”
His warm smile made mortals’ smile pale in comparison, just melt the flowers of their frost. I knew that it was alright again. Lestat de Lioncourt isn’t petty, he may act all huffy, high and mighty but give him a short night, he’ll come to you begging for treats. I overdid that, with the image of a golden doggie chasing his biscuit. Stat chased me upstairs.
“BIANCA! You’re incorrigible!” he hollered.
I screamed happily, knocked on Quinn’s door. “HELP ME! He’ll tickle me! Help!” The door opened suspending and slow.
“Are you kids or what?” the occupant sighed. Lestat made a monster growl. I took refuge behind Quinn. “C’mon B Boss. (short for beloved Boss) don’t make me resort to something serious here.”
This was several years ago and now I’m around 24. I would say that being with me has changed Lestat’s attitude towards cultivating patience. He’s greater at handling kids and adolescents. Better than his past past. Ok, Back to my teen story.
If I got Cs and Fs for my stuff, I could always ask Brattie to sign for me. My parents and Louis’d throw a combined fit. I can’t go nowhere, no comp, nothing! I was supposed to reflect on what wrong I’d committed in my room.
Although I’m naughty and argue with ‘stat more, he’s affectionate and can’t bear to scold me. Always shields me from lectures and harsh punishments. I wasn’t supposed to eat, but since it was a holiday, Lestat snuck me foodie.
Meetings with teachers were conveniently held in the evenings at 6. So Lestat had ample time to bathe before turning up. It was fun. He didn’t mind being alone, often urging me to go talk to my friends. He chatted up people easily. The amateur concerts were dull. So with his power, he asked to go in first. I followed Stat to the classroom.
Halfway through, the conversation become somewhat begging my friend to see his point….
‘But Monsieur, she’s skipped classes for maths. It is a core subject.’ My math teacher Jameson was worked up during a Parent-teacher meeting. ‘It’s ok. She finds it boring. Couldn’t you make maths more interesting?’ Brat replied nonchalantly. He smiled in a fierce way. At parent teacher meetings, he’ll generally act polite and reserved.
(He got the hots for my drama teacher Sarah Song though. love asian chics).
I thought I was off the hook and skipped lightfootedly down the hallway.
“Sweetie, you didn’t go for class? Why?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye. Brat said, “Understand I didn’t like him that I defended you. At least show your face. All right?”
“No.” I muttered. The vampire told me not to be bad, and how much luck I was being schooled. In his time, he was denied studies. He confided, I never forgave my dad for forcing me out. I only said I did. (strangely he trembled) I want you to be smarter than us. Make me proud.
When was that? --- I was curious. You seldom mention him. You’re merciful.
Looong time ago. I find it hard to accept. But I know he’s safe in Heaven, darling.
Quinn who went back to Europe for his next term, said he’d spew blood. I was happy I got a D instead of an E for maths.
Elfin: why? It’s improvement!
Quinn604: AAAAH! No. I spent lotsa time tutoring u! try harder!!
Elfin: So tired. Cannot make it. Good enough.
Quinn604: I won’t speak to u again! Angry face.
Elfin: Hey hey! WAHHH!!
Of course he was kidding. Lestat forced me to wear a skirt for my punishment of hurting his feelings. I thought it was no big. Then how hot I got! So many layers and navy blue. Grotesque.
“I spent LOTS of time picking it out. Wanna be sure it fits. Go in. Cannot escape. Hahahaha,” Lestat laughed. When I put it on I couldn’t walk.
“Now we go for dinner with this. I’m ready. We didn’t finish that day.”
We agreed not the same restaurant. After eating, in which my teacher managed to swallow some pieces of vegetables and slurped some soup, he wanted to take pictures.
I had snapped some of him with my camera phone. “Marcus lent me his camera. Hi, would you be so kind as to take a photo for us?” First try of the de Lioncourt charm and it worked. A young couple agreed to. Took us in front of the Monument to Athena.
He held me close and I smiled. very modellike eh?
Lestat loved this night. I hoped it made up for the spoiled one.
“I’m not a doll,” I murmured.
“Not like Claudia. I know. You look nice, womanly in this getup. Hehehe,” he answered. He chose not to be mad over my remark. I dragged him to a department store.
“Let’s get you some real modern things!” But he didn’t like the shirts, they were tight. Made his lovely form much more unnatural. He could only button halfway. Salesgirls salivated.