Friday, August 18, 200633 and 34 combined "Forbidden, Don't ask me!"
I waited for a good mood time to ask about Paris and etc. Fridays were my good mood days and I felt recklessly offguard. “May I know why? You didn’t focus on that.”
He bit his lip. Heat rose in his chest. I apologized.
“It’s ok. I’ll go over this again. Try to listen carefully,” he said, seeming to lose patience. Then he reined in the fury, thinking She’s a child. I promised…. And sounded better when he re explained chromatic and diatonic semi-tones. You have to count the notes after and see if flat or sharp is to be added.
When there was no more to speak about, I asked him why all the knowledge was erased once maker and fledge had become clean with each other. He looked at his marker, speaking in lilting notes. “All information that’s personal is given over. Take today’s example, when I share someone’s knowledge, I have to give mine as well. Even the past which I hate to reveal. All this is locked in long term memory and hardly comes up.”
I asked, “Long term memory? But you hardly remember it.”
Lestat nodded. “In fact we don’t, at all. But I don’t know why.… it’s not worth talking about now. (more petulant tone) it’s like asking why people have dark skin in Africa.” He was very unhappy with the marker. He squiggled on the board, and the ink was diluted. Tossed it in the bin.
I sat up on the high stool and watched him. Lestat glanced at me. One eye was violet and with a blink was gone. “We can trust each other. You agreed not to withhold anything. I can keep secrets.”
“Bianca. I cannot tell you what’s forbidden. I’ve told you enough. I will decide what’s essential and necessary for your people to be safe from our kind. Enough questioning!” he snapped, walking off. I was left with a question mark. How did that eye become violet?
Lestat changed topics immediately when Ivan noticed too. When was the frightening period when he became famous? Or his speech with the Devil himself? His seatch for goodness? I couldn’t find those chronicles. It’s too RA. Not suitable. You don’t need to know that ugly side of me. I love you. Isn’t that enough? He would supply pleadingly. Sometimes Brat p was furious and disappeared into his room to cool off. I would not persist. But when he sounded pleading, I took a chance.
After all, he said that it’s ok to ask questions and don’t have barriers between us?
We discussed ethics and personality differences. It helps to know and understand these.
Louis and I were in his room. We were just chilling, but to this ancient guy, he was supposed to be using the time fruitfully. “Krys, it’s ok. We don’t hafta be extremist and exclude my Maker. By the way, do I really act philosophic?”
“When you read poetry, yea.” I drew up my knees so I could be smaller in size. “You’re a middle child right? That means you can be a bit… forgive me, demented. And you’re too soft, to the extent you can’t stand being bullied!” I remarked. I waited for an outburst but he blinked quietly at me. Still thinking about this, if it’s in the context of an insult?
“Did you just tease me? Or was it unintentional insult, abuse?” Louis said slowly. I burst out laughing. He smiled.
“Unintentional abuse. Sorry, no, I’m Not sorry,” I decided.
My frank opinion of him is summed up like this: “ I like it that you’ve got a worldview which is more objective., Louis-chan. You make people comfortable, equal so they don’t get defensive. The demented part- how you burnt people and houses down? Yea. I recall that. Cool arsonist!”
Louis was inside wishing that I didn’t make it sound like it was a wonderful show. Lestat fumed outside.
Hey stop this! What wrong did I do? Don’t ignore me!—splash red alert color.
Sorry, Lestat. I wanna spend time with your bf. I’ll talk to ya later.
Brat peeped in, holding a tv guide. He made a face. “Come out and talk to me k? After you’ve finished. Hey, Star Wars is showing at nine. Want to watch? Let’s watch together.” I said alright, and it managed to rid him for a while.
Movie or Serials- wise,
Normally we cannot watch a show together, all three of us. The Ls like the old black and white MGM shows, Elvis Presley and musicals. I cannot stand those. I only like Modern- the science fiction and blockbuster action types . These genres are alright with Princie. To tell the truth, Lestat would give anything, even if film’s in my people’s language Anikirin , just for some company.
We even began to view those corny gameshows like Fear Factor and Amazing Race. Can you imagine a person of such high IQ wants to resort to seeing that?? Quinn and Mona Hate the Fear Factor. David loves all wordshows and supermarket competitions. They all got different levels of aesthetic. But I don’t mind the Wheel of Fortune. The Brat gets a kick out of guessing the mystery words. He’s into competing with ‘those dumb mortals’ and arguing with Armand. He only gets him over as a debating opponent or something!
Louis and me usually read books together. He won’t watch blockbusters. The first time we saw the Korean war show was exceptional. The dark haired guy will not mind a foreign film. He was gaga over the Wu Jian Dao, a Chinese detective movie about the gangsters in Hongkong. The whole set ok? Quote Stat: Again? Oh no, I like detectives but it’s too Much for me.
I act as a middle link between both of them. I cannot connect them together, so I have to pass messages if Louis doesn’t call back as he promised, vice versa. The blond becomes super antsy. Sometimes it’s miscommunicated in which both will turn against me. I plead innocent!
Suppress your wanting. it may wreak havoc on your relationships…. Think of a locket,” Lestat related it to a fist over his heart.
I asked to cut his hair to make a locket.
He cocked his head and thought about this. Puzzled. “Why? I’m still here.”
I laughed and touched his cheek, some fluffy locks brushing my hand tenderly.
“I’m not gonna do voodoo. Doubt it’ll work on you,”
He let the fringe fall forward, looked up at the hair. “Ok, cut then. Needs some trimming.”
I snipped off a handful, loaded it into a locket I had bought. His hair smelled like him, also of midnight blossoms… I shut it. The vampire looked at me, waiting for my explanation.
I provided only this, “But you can’t ask me why.”
He was miffed and folded his arms. “What? Supposed to beg you is it? Why do you wanna make a remembrance of me?” Sounded highly suspicious. Oh yea, before Claudia hurt him, she’d baited him with poison.
I took out my music book and busied myself doing revision exercises. Of course I wasn’t plotting to kill my best friend! Were you guys thinking of that too? I had done it to switch, until I could find a period when Stat was more open talking about the forbidden. You see, I’m quite resilient.
The blond attributed it to my brightness. “Fine fine, you are my student. I’ll have to accept that your intelligence will supersede mine one day. I won’t beg you. Will find out.”
I doodled my name all over the front. He stared off into space, immediately closing up when I was interested in what he was thinking. I repeated that I can keep secrets, but he refused to engage me. Must be so troubled, coz he was easily distracted…..
“Princie. Can I talk about Magnus? Why do you feel angry when he’s brought up. The other time, you yelled at your girlfriend too when she asked.” You must be thinking, am I mad? The blond marquis was always blowing or blown up if we so much as breathe his name.
“No. I’m tired, my child. We’ll stop here.” After a pause he spoke coldly, “I told you, he was the bastard who did this to me. I am grateful, if you need to know.”
While saying this, the vampire was twisting a ring off his finger, a huge fake one not worth thousands. It was one of those kinds which he only wore for one night, and then disposed of. Blood seeped out.
“Here. Don’t be so rough,” I told him, holding out a packet of tissue.
I went to the bathroom for a bar of soap. Next I rubbed his finger with it, until it got so slippery. Lestat struggled not to yell. Yes! The ring fell off, mingled with dark blood. I looked at it, transfixed. Same as our blood!
“Thanks, sweetie. No, don’t suck it.” The cut healed. Eh? The ring had an initial of M. not Magnus, coz he was obviously a hated figure. Dunno why it stuck so hard to my finger, he wondered. Maharet, why I respect her so much….
Who is she? Forbidden too, I queried.
Goodnight. I need to sleep, then cuisine… so run along, Lestat told me hurriedly.
I took out some notes and coins, dumping them on the table. “What now?” he groaned. “I don’t want to be paid.”
“No I’m not… just thinking if you’d like that birthstone. It’s 60.oo. just nice, counting all the one dollar coins here. Hmm… or you could buy something to make you happy. Pleease.”
He frowned at me acutely. Inside was all troubled and worrying, grey swirls…. Made me giddy. Finally the blond put the money inside his pocket. We went to retire. When I came back down to bring my schoolpack up again, I noticed a sheaf of paper. They who must be------ it was torn off there.
His diary was very crisp and short these days. ‘Very tired and won’t write much. Marius said I think too much. But I do. How can I forget my daughter so quickly?’ Why couldn’t Lestat concentrate these nights? If he wasn’t worried about his own health… then what was wrong? Meanwhile, I got Louis to accompany me, because Stat got more and more distant…..
While drawing my kirin, mystery and aura, I was thinking why Stat had to end his singing career. He always missed that and never hesitated to tell me of his yearning. I never suppress myself, Lestat said. So why then did he suppress his singing?