Friday, June 06, 2008

Katerina Silvermead

-for one of our american pluralism lessons, got into this topic and I want to examine the others’ pov of discrimination n freedom music! Blackwood Farm’s an epic that I had to buy after TVL.

“What’re you covering tonight?” I asked, as sensei chan flipped through papers until he found the page. Then handed me some stuff back. Oh my reviews on concerts and BOA. Scrawled in red at the end of each: Sorry took so long. I wanted to read every word. This young child sounds interesting and I like some of the songs.

He spun around on his chair. “A few aspects of the history of music. I’m going to talk about the Afro-Americans and their contributions. They were the first people to compose music like Blues, HipHop, Elvis, Gospel and so on. The whites shouldn’t think they did everything.”

“Yea they claim the credit for every single thing! Egoistic. But why, you distance yourself from them! ”

He nodded, irises fired up with dignity. “That’s true, ma fleur. But living in La Nouvelle Orleans for many years has exposed me to their (the blacks) warmth and love of life. I can mention lots of kind African Americans, who welcomed me despite the strangeness of my skin color. Now you’ve distracted me…. where was I?” Lestat considered for a few minutes, before smiling. “Yeah, some of these have been infused with modern music, like the singers you admire. Even the BOA girl does raps. When I read up on black music, most of the musicians came up. However, you’ll definitely sleep, so I’ll simply introduce some nice pieces to let you have a Feel. This one is Nat King Cole, first show starring a black musician. ( pressed a button)”

I made a face ‘eugh’ Lestat turned it off with his mind and went on, “ the most significant changes were in the 1950s to the late 1960s, Freedom music. The race rallied their whole unity against white oppression. ‘I’m black and I’m proud’ very frankly put- ‘Lord set me free’ and the more jazzy, what whites would categorize as low-class- the ain’ts, ‘buked’s pidgin english. Haha, I myself go into that ‘big easy style’. Nevertheless, cherie, these people succeeded in winning the hearts and minds. African-americans were proud to be who they were.

“Martin Luther King is connected to freedom music. He gave his inspirational speeches against white superiority and racism. ( I said it was sad and unjust he was killed when he wanted to right things.) Oui, Bianca. I agree. The blacks had style of making original music. Some of these songs also became answers to unhappiness and unrest.”

He showed me links and webpages to the pictures and videos of those times. I sat close to him, but other than explanations, the vampire did not express his affection. Maybe he was still angry with me. I really wanted to make up for the mistake I’d made.

“Um can we talk? About that day I was wrong to…”

Downturn of his mouth. “Stop. Don’t say it. Don’t spoil the good mood between us.”

“Will you forgive me?”

His irises shimmered with ethereal light. Lestat turned away. He took out something from the drawer. His shoulders were stiff. I touched his leg. He gasped.

Oh no! what was that for? He had pricked his wrist, drawing blood with his sharp thimble. Dripped it into a small tube and capped. “Are you all right?”

“Um hm. But not inside my heart. I miss her. I don’t think any of you can understand the agony and turmoil and loneliness suffering can be when you’ve seen everyone you loved perish. Gabrielle could’ve been there. You didn’t trust me.”

He’s right. An immortal who is old, but feels as deeply as I. I regret that so much.

“I didn’t mean to—why did you collect your blood out?”

“To test how fast my wound can heal. It’s much better now.” The scar was fading to his normal skin now. “If there is no trust between us, how can we continue being friends?” so monotonous. Bratprince had to be all cutup inside. Then he continued, “Don’t be sorry. It’s over.”

I apologized again. He asked, “Did you see her, before that night?”

What to say? How could I answer? I said no. The grey pupils bore through me, sending chills. Cliché phrase, but it’s the only thing I can say…

He must’ve seen the photos! I forgot to keep them once! Louis replied.

“I think it was Tuesday last, David hurried to keep some documents. I glanced at them, looked like pictures.” Lestat spoke quietly, touching the mouse. He got distracted. “Why keep them from me?”

Don’t tell him. Ask him to show you something. Can’t let him be sad again.

“I noticed most musicians were from Germany, like Bach and Mozart. Were there any french composers?”

Lestat rubbed his chin. “Oh, yes. A few…..” The affable atmosphere again and had a fulfilling lesson.

******

More on Tarquin

Will he be angry if I asked him about Patsy? She died so tragically! He had said that in chapter 49. Which meant it was a confession, very public and non personal.

‘Wanna meet you! I’m having a short break this month.’ Quinn said to me excitedly, on the phone. The charming young man, only several years older than me, yet had imposing physique and effusive features. He really cared for me like his sis. Don’t mention it, I should take care of ya. You instil a protector’s spirit in me.

Cool, yea! I really look forward to our meeting. Sure, but that was before I had seen the details, the gory details of how many people died at his hands. Tonight, he would be arriving. I remembered that chapter, how he wrung her neck and dropped her into the swamp. As bratprince had suffered, new Orleans had good places to dispose of bodies. But I often forgot how tall he is until he stands in front of me.

As usual I was stunned by his melodious timbre. Vampiric voices are musical and 3-D. listening to Lestat often I was accustomed to, he’d tone it down for my convenience. Quinn hadn’t gotten that right, he still needed lessons how to block his mind. Punctual at seven, he smiled without his fangs. “Hi Bianca! Why don’t you get something to eat first? I’m hungry. Let’s talk more today. This is for you.”

“You didn’t have to…” I said weakly, taking the package. Quinn hurried out of the crowds. It was an expensive set of calligraphic pens. How can he be the same man, killing her? No no, don’t think on it! stop stop! I commanded my brain.

Last time my thoughts leaked out, Lestat’d not forgiven me for a week! Quinn could not block his mind, and that equalled he was able to Sense if my words weren’t consistent. An open lie-detector.

I ate some light appetizers first to fill up my stomach. Fifteen minutes later, heads turned as the ethereally handsome Grecian man strolled in languidly. Clearly reflected in the lights overhead, violet-purple dark pupils, deceivingly delicate features and extremely glossy black locks. Out of a shampoo ad!

Before I noticed, he had seated himself. “Are you full yet? What’s nice to order?”

“Yea, I was just gonna. (he remained smiling)” I picked out simple- to eat- fish and he chose a salad with a glass of wine. I couldn’t stomach the thought of bloody juices from a meat piece. In cold blood, lipstick smeared, he watched her sink into the dark murky depths. Keep it away, blank out--- I commanded my wandering reverie.

“Are you ill? You look pale.” He frowned in concern.

“No I was just too hungry.” Louis let himself into my mind now- are you going to ask him? Remember a past is very sensitive. Be careful.

I replied, I know. I don’t want to think. And yet it’s so hard!

Quinn said something inaudible. Then I decided I would come clean. A vampire has killed. It doesn’t mean he or she is beyond hope. If we are friends, honesty is important. Louis protested loudly until I had a headache. So I held my tongue now and ate.

Quinn pretended to savor the salad in front of him. “When’s your birthday again? Sorry to forget.”

“Dec 12. That’s no problem. Thank you. I like the presents.”

He laughed. “You said they broke. They just looked perfect on my evening flight from New York.”

“How are you and Mona?” because I had to distract my mind and wanted pleasant images to behold.

“We love each other. To the extent of romantic mushiness. Sometimes she can be clingy. She asks why you didn’t send her a reply?”

Ooh. “When? I can’t remember, maybe I got spammed a lot.”

The guy nodded. It was hard to think of him as a baddie, he moved so perfectly. He had described himself as clumsy and forcing himself to behave like a mortal. “I’ll tell her. How are you doing?”

I talked in general. When I asked about his classes, he scowled. “Stress. Mine is 2-3 hours lecture time, four days. I’m lucky I don’t need to work too. Those who’ve they just sleep there. Nash takes care of the running and day to day stuff. He’s so nice. I get tired too.”

I smiled back and shifted a little. Could he smell my fear? “You’ll be fine. I wish I could be taller. What did you do to be so tall?”

“My progeny, Bianca. Haha, I impose on people. But to those I love, I really wish I could be on the same level.”

When I asked about the truth of the story, he paled visibly. Suddenly gone bloodless, horrified. Quinn swallowed. The silence was imminent, and the talking around ceased. Only a tunnel rushing in my ears. Did it happen? You killed the girl and your mother?

“Yes it did. Everything is true. About Patsy, specifically.”

I clasped my hands under the table. “No one will believe me. I confess it because… of regret and grief.” He seemed drained of energy now, grey-faced and a reddish film coming to his eyes. I offered him the tissue box.

I’m so sorry so sorry—I reiterated. Shit why did I ask that? it’s supposed to be a dinner topic! I just… I

Quinn closed his eyes for a moment, brows knit together, took a deep breath. “It’s okay. At least you believe me. It irks you, these things? You are scared, of me?” shaky and fatigued.

“No. I thought I should be honest. You opened yourself to me and when I read your account, of the happy and sad stuff that happened, it was surreal. I am kind of intimidated. But I know it won’t happen again. That was last time.”

Strangely his eyes flickered amber now. So quiet I thought he had fainted, eyes wide and staring. “Yes. I want another chance. I saw the Light happen to Grams, and to Ida. Merrick.” Was that the answer for me, half whispered? For the bride, he had killed on his first hunt, she was innocent. Soft, glazed expression, no more hate He had been stupid. The mortal had dazzled him so much he forgot and broke her neck.. everybody at the banquet knew. His maker Petronia’d bashed him like shit. “I just let them kick me, if only I could die in her place. My head cracked on the wall, I fell into the water below. I should’ve died. But I can’t. I’ve died and yet I'm still here. ”

I nodded, it was all I could do to be supportive. He cleared his throat and sipped some of the wine. It tasted bad to him, but he remained impassive. “Now that everything is clear, you can say you hate me. I won’t blame you. It’s all right.” Quinn’s aura was so faint and weakened.

I got worried. Louis what to do? I think he’s in a state of shock and pain.

I’m coming. Tell him he’ll be alright. Do the magic, when I grieved, bianca, you helped me forget.

To undo the damage.That time before he threw away his daughter’s locket forever…. What had I said? Focussing back on the present, Quinn blinked at me puzzled. having no mental guard, he said why did you ask me? It hurts so much- I love my family, yes- and Mona, they all need me. I need them to need me! As long as I can, but won’t there be respect anymore. Should’ve denied. On and on it went...

“Quinn. You’re in shock? Your aura is weakened.”

He roused himself. The litany went on, giving me a headache. I blocked that out. “How about we go out for a walk? It’s so hot here.” I fanned myself. He did as I asked. I’m surprised he would listen to me, nobody is charmed by me at all! Until outside, he left the trance and leaned against a pole.

“Quinn. How’re you feeling? I’m terribly sorry to have upset you.” I apologized.

Back to normal colour. He glanced at me. “I was? You can detect my thoughts? I tried to shield them… I can’t! I’ve failed.”

I grinned, walking ahead. The fireworks would be on tonight, it was nine. Blue, green and red flowers. Quinn cheered up. “Thank you. I couldn’t halt the depression, I let it control me. It’s been years since I raked up the past. It’s not your fault. A lot of bad things happened. I almost lost faith, so I wanted to return to the house. I wanted to be a kid again without any worries except my next meal.”

“Uh huh. Since when did you worry about that? you’re rich!”

He smiled faintly. “Riches are meaningless.”

“If I had more cash, I would fill my tummy, and the others’ tummies too!”

Labels: black freedom, quinn, sorrow