My true acceptance?
“I am still your friend. I want to be, Quinn.”
“Oh Krystal. Thank you.” He wiped his eyes with his handkerchief. Smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, though it was a weak attempt.
“I never wanted the girl to perish, truly. It was purely an accident. I was clumsy.”
When I finished my meal, with Quinn drinking the rest of his blood-wine (it’s a special that they have at restaurants nowadays), he joked, “I’m tall but a klutz.”
I smiled back. “Now we’re on the same ground here. A toast!” I touched my glass of heaven and earth jasmine tea with his.
The other humans didn’t look at us. His crying and admission of his darkness was all below their frequency. Even I had some problem listening to his whispering. People don’t and wouldn’t believe such a handsome guy can murder anyway! Roguish. Yes. Delicately built? Nah.
At the park, a more secluded area, couples dating, dogs and owners walking or running, bushes. Dimly lit street lamps flickered on around. The moon had risen. Quinn had his arm around me, walking to match my pace. I was about to say something else when his phone vibrated.
“Hello? Oh Louis! I’m fine. We’re in Siena Park outside the Bourbon. Oh ok. Let’s see. How about near the fountain? Do you know where that is? Yeah. See you. Bye.”
“Louis is coming?”
“With Lestat. In a few minutes.” Quinn’s euphoria rose, a velvet at the thought of meeting his fellow kin.
“Great!” It was to my benefit, Louis had received my telepathic message about the incident, how I almost blew the perfect reunion dinner here. I had been so worried and at odds with myself. Quinn’s speech was magnificent.
“I want you to know something. It's very difficult for me, to trust people totally. But you’ve shown me mercy and kindness. Haven’t seen that yet in any mortal outside my family. And, I’m not as respectable and perfect as I showed myself to you. I’m sorry to deceive.”
I shook my head, trying not to be dazzled by the shimmery material on his shirt. The buttons! Since he is so tall, I don't look up or I will suffer a crick in my neck. Only at certain points do I look at him, maybe his throat.
“Don’t be. It was my fault for bringing it up. I should be sorry.” I brushed on his sleeve, uncovering a silver bracelet. “Hey so nice!” I examined it further, it caught the light fully, a plain one but it reminded me of a pure heart.
"Thank you. Jasmine bought it."
When a heart is pure, pain and suffering help to strengthen you.
Lestat interrupted--- Bianca did you hurt him? Why did you remind him of that time?
I said I was sorry. Really. Um, where’re you?
I felt him coming closer. Louis said- hey she didn’t mean to. She just wanted to be candid. You know her character.
But still! --- Lestat cried out. I could hear them using telepathy to converse. Because Louis feels uncomfortable doing that up close. They just realized that the process of the Veiling coming between them is actually reversible. Since there'd been no exchange of blood for such a long while, Lestat was delighted that he could once again hear his favorite fledgling's mental telepathy without any mediator's help.
Now the pair of them- blond young 18th C man and his graceful pupil in lace stepped out in sync beside the fountain. Lestat sported a midnight double-breasted suit, flashed sunglasses. His fledgling was in green, his favorite color, and matched his eyes. The lace ruffs were beautiful against his fair hands. There was no need to glove themselves here.
The latter said, “It’s better to let me handle this ok? Don’t talk back to him.”
I agreed.
Bratp was mad, he brushed past me. He greeted Quinn and hugged him. “Sorry. I did remind them not to discuss the touchy past. Under any conditions.”
“No Boss. It’s better to have come clean. We’re all right now. Krystal is very merciful.”
I blushed at the compliment. They walked ahead of Louis and I , chattering amiably. Quinn laughed.
They still talked about his health though. “So you’re all better?”
“Yep. In the pink and purple.”
Louis said, “He blew up. I had to ask him to calm down.”
“I am at fault.”
“But you’re a kid. It’s worked out, so that’s good. Do you want to go home?”
Midnight.
“His mother didn’t get mentioned during our first conversation. I was curious as to who this historically rich man could be. Stat showers him with attention and is equal to us, all of us children. Quinn invited me to his apartment in Miami. He studies there… and Rowan saw me, roaming about New Orleans.”
Louis’ story with Q:
‘ I really respected you. You are the first vampire I know connected with Lestat.’ Quinn said extended his slender hand.
Grasping mine, his was soft. The young ones have soft skin. Lestat is friendly to lots of people, but I hadn’t met him. ‘Wow you’ve many of those I lik Lord of the rings, Sherlock Holmes, Jrr Tolkien. Shakespeare.’ On the desk were stationery, paper, cameos in their case and a worn copy of maths.
Quinn’s eyes regarded me cautiously. I gently told him I was okay with this distance, casual before intimacy. I thought he was more reserved than I was. Quinn understood, he is quintessentially the contemporary person like me. He loves classics and romances. Then we discussed about family. How he changed when he mentioned his son and uncle who is so little! Photos of them at proudly on the mantelpiece, the computers.Quinn was not in one, ‘After what happened I can’t allow myself near a camera. I’m afraid they will find out about me if I stand too stiffly or smile too widely. I do forget myself. ‘
‘Yes I see.’
‘Your family? I know of Claudia.’
He emanated sympathy. A claw gripped my heart and twisted but I won out. Quinn sat down, inviting me to do the same. ‘My aunt Queen was also dear to me.Louis, do you like your new family?’
I smiled. at the time, he hadn’t met Lestat for many years. They’d lost touch. And he also hadn’t met you. Quinn was thrilled at this possibility. So he asked me about you guys. Your warmth and acceptance.’
‘We’ve got cozy memories. Sometimes I feel stressed, but I like everyone together. Lestat’s the clown as usual, and my papa. My lover.’
Before I left he hugged me . I saw why Lestat loved this little boy, and he was innocent. I a 250 year old gap between us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The two of them had come back, arm in arm. Lestat gestured for us to talk.”What were you discussing? I heard my name…”
“About the time you invited me. Nothing bad,”Louis replied softly.
Bratp didn’t talk to us the whole time. when we reached home, he turned on violin music.
Did you deliberately ask him? About the murders?
It was accidental….
Please do not repeat this again.
All right.golden color of peace.
Revolution in english
Heels I’m in are so fragile
I can’t take it, all my dreams gne
His eyes bore into mine mercilessly
Too much love and passion
Oh, I’ve fallen for him!
I can’t breathe (what’s the situation?)
So whose the one? whose fault is it now?
Can’t resist this terror inside
Next minute I’m confused and spinning into despair
Wanna run away, Devil’s control
Dreams come true.
I want my fiercest freedom!
Abandon all to revolution, see me at my victory
Coz the air’s too tight when I’m tense
Can’t breathe!
I’ll see through you before I crash and burn. Take off your mask.
He said patsy abused him everyday. “When my brother died, she blamed it all on me. she cursed at my life that I should’ve died too. What did I do, to deserve that?”
Quinn faltered at the word son. The serval of our house ignored him sitting the furthest away. Whipped his tail. “What’s wrong? He seems hostile to me.”
I thought at my bro to cool it and he was a guest. Be polite. He simply rubbed his head on the chair.
Lestat stopped the music downstairs. He came up quickly. “Settled in?”
Quinn asked what was wrong with our serval?
“Oi, don’t be rude. You can throw tantrums but don’t make me lose face k?” Lestat said. Gestured for him to sit still. Ivan snarled, hackles risen.
“Is he mad at me? I’ll go out.”
Lestat lifted his lips showing his fangs and stared him down. Went on for a full long twenty minutes. Then as if something had been settled between them, the vampire rose to his full height again. Good boy. Want to play kitty catch?
Lestat took out a rubber ball and bounced it. Ivan pawed it, ears twitching. He chased it.
“Sorry.” He left us.
Later I explained that it was his turn to evolve so he wasn’t so friendly. These days Ivan stayed as his beast shape, scent marking, catching rodents and growling at any one who came near. He didn’t attack yet, which was the good news.
Louis and I got cameos which Quinn made sincerely. Mine is Artemis, with her beloved unicorn and fierce huntress expression. I was too shy to accept it after kind of insulting him. “I love Greek myths. You’re well acquainted with them?”
“Yea. Some, like moon goddess Serena and Endymion, Theseus, the gorgons. I like Artemis the most!”
“Thank you. I haven’t got one yet,” Louis added. He scrutinized it. a pattern which I couldn’t make out. He loved it. “You carve them? How long?”
“During freetime. Used to make a lot for my family. Runs in the genes.”
“Great you should teach your kid how to make this.”
“Nah he ain’t interested,” he drawled. “He’s into law and practical things. Loves country western though. We grew up on them.”
Tonight the Bratprince’d wanted to stay out for gatherings. Picking among the riffraff. “Stat’s so moody these days.”
“He adores Rowan doesn’t he?”
Louis sighed.
Quinn said, “I tried to tell him. I know he wants to hear from her, they promised to keep in touch and he feels sad. She didn’t call him again. Rowan’s so buried in work.”
I wanted them to be together. “It’ll be our secret plan. Can’t we? Then they will find true happiness.”
“I don’t mind. Though I am jealous.” Louis murmured.
“Mona has told him before, the Mayfair Medical is her fortress. She won’t leave it. But it’s not acceptable to Boss. He hasn’t stopped pining.”
One time recently, thinking of her, I’d asked what about her?
Who?
Rowan. Why don’t you call her? Maybe she forgot.
No. I don’t wish to talk about it. it’s pointless. I’m okay. ------ he said denying how lonely he was. A melancholic tune on the violin.
Then he smiled. Really nothing’s wrong. I’m healthy and of sound mind. I’m not lovelorn
“You left him suddenly. In his last chronicle he came home and didn’t see you.”
“We saw Khayman. Totally forgot and thought he wanted to be solo.” Quinn continued. He frowned. “We must’ve been so ill mannered.”
Even though it was so late, had been 10 years since it happened, we decided to write a letter to leave on his desk.
Sorry to have left without a warning, Boss. We thought that you needed to be alone in my house. Please don’t feel that you’re a failure. You’re an awesome guy!
Do you feel so lonely? You are pretending but I truly know. Cheer up.
Q and I signed it.
*****
Next dusk, the master arose. I greeted him with a rainbow. He beckond to me.
“So happy. All good?”
“Yea! Did you see our letter?” I wanted to know. I touched my hair at the mirror. Stat stretched and folded his blanket.
“Where? I came straight here last night.”
“In the study.”
“K, I’ll go read it now.” He walked out.
I read some of his books of mystery and detectives. As a typical Scorpio he is intrigued by such genre more than others. Moments had passed but there had been no response from the sensei. Was he crying or in shock? I went to the study.
Lestat had changed to a beige pullover and jeans. It diminished his age so he appeared as if he were a teenager. If only he wore this more often! Now he does, all the modern styles, loafers, slacks. I wondered why. " Hi. What is it?" Lestat came out from behind the shelf containing thick volumes.
I started. I had been silent. " Hi. Um what did you think?"
Silence. He held up the paper. His words were soft and deliberate. "Why did Quinn suddenly decide to write this? I was lonely, at that time. You said cheer up?" He rose and came beside me.
" Sit. Do you know why? It has been so long. I almost forgot about that."
I took the chair opposite, fiddled with my hair ends. " He felt that he had disappointed you. Quinn said we three would stick together, I remember that. Recently you've been... sad. We're , concerned, for you."
Lestat brushed his hair back from his face as he leaned back. " I'm not pretending. I can't do that." He laughed.
I smiled. " Yea, but we just thought... it should come now. Better late than never."
The young marquis drew up his legs indian style. " Ok. Thank you."
He added, " Tell Quinn I have forgiven them both. The boy's still thinking about that, gosh."
What of her? You're pretending you don't miss her. It's so sad. --- I thought.
Posted by Ireth Seregon ::
2:00 PM ::
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Friday, June 06, 2008
Black Music era/ Sorrows of a friend
Katerina Silvermead
-for one of our american pluralism lessons, got into this topic and I want to examine the others’ pov of discrimination n freedom music! Blackwood Farm’s an epic that I had to buy after TVL.
“What’re you covering tonight?” I asked, as sensei chan flipped through papers until he found the page. Then handed me some stuff back. Oh my reviews on concerts and BOA. Scrawled in red at the end of each: Sorry took so long. I wanted to read every word. This young child sounds interesting and I like some of the songs.
He spun around on his chair. “A few aspects of the history of music. I’m going to talk about the Afro-Americans and their contributions. They were the first people to compose music like Blues, HipHop, Elvis, Gospel and so on. The whites shouldn’t think they did everything.”
“Yea they claim the credit for every single thing! Egoistic. But why, you distance yourself from them! ”
He nodded, irises fired up with dignity. “That’s true, ma fleur. But living in La Nouvelle Orleans for many years has exposed me to their (the blacks) warmth and love of life. I can mention lots of kind African Americans, who welcomed me despite the strangeness of my skin color. Now you’ve distracted me…. where was I?” Lestat considered for a few minutes, before smiling. “Yeah, some of these have been infused with modern music, like the singers you admire. Even the BOA girl does raps. When I read up on black music, most of the musicians came up. However, you’ll definitely sleep, so I’ll simply introduce some nice pieces to let you have a Feel. This one is Nat King Cole, first show starring a black musician. ( pressed a button)”
I made a face ‘eugh’ Lestat turned it off with his mind and went on, “ the most significant changes were in the 1950s to the late 1960s, Freedom music. The race rallied their whole unity against white oppression. ‘I’m black and I’m proud’ very frankly put- ‘Lord set me free’ and the more jazzy, what whites would categorize as low-class- the ain’ts, ‘buked’s pidgin english. Haha, I myself go into that ‘big easy style’. Nevertheless, cherie, these people succeeded in winning the hearts and minds. African-americans were proud to be who they were.
“Martin Luther King is connected to freedom music. He gave his inspirational speeches against white superiority and racism. ( I said it was sad and unjust he was killed when he wanted to right things.) Oui, Bianca. I agree. The blacks had style of making original music. Some of these songs also became answers to unhappiness and unrest.”
He showed me links and webpages to the pictures and videos of those times. I sat close to him, but other than explanations, the vampire did not express his affection. Maybe he was still angry with me. I really wanted to make up for the mistake I’d made.
“Um can we talk? About that day I was wrong to…”
Downturn of his mouth. “Stop. Don’t say it. Don’t spoil the good mood between us.”
“Will you forgive me?”
His irises shimmered with ethereal light. Lestat turned away. He took out something from the drawer. His shoulders were stiff. I touched his leg. He gasped.
Oh no! what was that for? He had pricked his wrist, drawing blood with his sharp thimble. Dripped it into a small tube and capped. “Are you all right?”
“Um hm. But not inside my heart. I miss her. I don’t think any of you can understand the agony and turmoil and loneliness suffering can be when you’ve seen everyone you loved perish. Gabrielle could’ve been there. You didn’t trust me.”
He’s right. An immortal who is old, but feels as deeply as I. I regret that so much.
“I didn’t mean to—why did you collect your blood out?”
“To test how fast my wound can heal. It’s much better now.” The scar was fading to his normal skin now. “If there is no trust between us, how can we continue being friends?” so monotonous. Bratprince had to be all cutup inside. Then he continued, “Don’t be sorry. It’s over.”
I apologized again. He asked, “Did you see her, before that night?”
What to say? How could I answer? I said no. The grey pupils bore through me, sending chills. Cliché phrase, but it’s the only thing I can say…
He must’ve seen the photos! I forgot to keep them once! Louis replied.
“I think it was Tuesday last, David hurried to keep some documents. I glanced at them, looked like pictures.” Lestat spoke quietly, touching the mouse. He got distracted. “Why keep them from me?”
Don’t tell him. Ask him to show you something. Can’t let him be sad again.
“I noticed most musicians were from Germany, like Bach and Mozart. Were there any french composers?”
Lestat rubbed his chin. “Oh, yes. A few…..” The affable atmosphere again and had a fulfilling lesson.
******
More on Tarquin
Will he be angry if I asked him about Patsy? She died so tragically! He had said that in chapter 49. Which meant it was a confession, very public and non personal.
‘Wanna meet you! I’m having a short break this month.’ Quinn said to me excitedly, on the phone. The charming young man, only several years older than me, yet had imposing physique and effusive features. He really cared for me like his sis. Don’t mention it, I should take care of ya. You instil a protector’s spirit in me.
Cool, yea! I really look forward to our meeting. Sure, but that was before I had seen the details, the gory details of how many people died at his hands. Tonight, he would be arriving. I remembered that chapter, how he wrung her neck and dropped her into the swamp. As bratprince had suffered, new Orleans had good places to dispose of bodies. But I often forgot how tall he is until he stands in front of me.
As usual I was stunned by his melodious timbre. Vampiric voices are musical and 3-D. listening to Lestat often I was accustomed to, he’d tone it down for my convenience. Quinn hadn’t gotten that right, he still needed lessons how to block his mind. Punctual at seven, he smiled without his fangs. “Hi Bianca! Why don’t you get something to eat first? I’m hungry. Let’s talk more today. This is for you.”
“You didn’t have to…” I said weakly, taking the package. Quinn hurried out of the crowds. It was an expensive set of calligraphic pens. How can he be the same man, killing her? No no, don’t think on it! stop stop! I commanded my brain.
Last time my thoughts leaked out, Lestat’d not forgiven me for a week! Quinn could not block his mind, and that equalled he was able to Sense if my words weren’t consistent. An open lie-detector.
I ate some light appetizers first to fill up my stomach. Fifteen minutes later, heads turned as the ethereally handsome Grecian man strolled in languidly. Clearly reflected in the lights overhead, violet-purple dark pupils, deceivingly delicate features and extremely glossy black locks. Out of a shampoo ad!
Before I noticed, he had seated himself. “Are you full yet? What’s nice to order?”
“Yea, I was just gonna. (he remained smiling)” I picked out simple- to eat- fish and he chose a salad with a glass of wine. I couldn’t stomach the thought of bloody juices from a meat piece. In cold blood, lipstick smeared, he watched her sink into the dark murky depths. Keep it away, blank out--- I commanded my wandering reverie.
“Are you ill? You look pale.” He frowned in concern.
“No I was just too hungry.” Louis let himself into my mind now- are you going to ask him? Remember a past is very sensitive. Be careful.
I replied, I know. I don’t want to think. And yet it’s so hard!
Quinn said something inaudible. Then I decided I would come clean. A vampire has killed. It doesn’t mean he or she is beyond hope. If we are friends, honesty is important. Louis protested loudly until I had a headache. So I held my tongue now and ate.
Quinn pretended to savor the salad in front of him. “When’s your birthday again? Sorry to forget.”
“Dec 12. That’s no problem. Thank you. I like the presents.”
He laughed. “You said they broke. They just looked perfect on my evening flight from New York.”
“How are you and Mona?” because I had to distract my mind and wanted pleasant images to behold.
“We love each other. To the extent of romantic mushiness. Sometimes she can be clingy. She asks why you didn’t send her a reply?”
Ooh. “When? I can’t remember, maybe I got spammed a lot.”
The guy nodded. It was hard to think of him as a baddie, he moved so perfectly. He had described himself as clumsy and forcing himself to behave like a mortal. “I’ll tell her. How are you doing?”
I talked in general. When I asked about his classes, he scowled. “Stress. Mine is 2-3 hours lecture time, four days. I’m lucky I don’t need to work too. Those who’ve they just sleep there. Nash takes care of the running and day to day stuff. He’s so nice. I get tired too.”
I smiled back and shifted a little. Could he smell my fear? “You’ll be fine. I wish I could be taller. What did you do to be so tall?”
“My progeny, Bianca. Haha, I impose on people. But to those I love, I really wish I could be on the same level.”
When I asked about the truth of the story, he paled visibly. Suddenly gone bloodless, horrified. Quinn swallowed. The silence was imminent, and the talking around ceased. Only a tunnel rushing in my ears. Did it happen? You killed the girl and your mother?
“Yes it did. Everything is true. About Patsy, specifically.”
I clasped my hands under the table. “No one will believe me. I confess it because… of regret and grief.” He seemed drained of energy now, grey-faced and a reddish film coming to his eyes. I offered him the tissue box.
I’m so sorry so sorry—I reiterated. Shit why did I ask that? it’s supposed to be a dinner topic! I just… I
Quinn closed his eyes for a moment, brows knit together, took a deep breath. “It’s okay. At least you believe me. It irks you, these things? You are scared, of me?” shaky and fatigued.
“No. I thought I should be honest. You opened yourself to me and when I read your account, of the happy and sad stuff that happened, it was surreal. I am kind of intimidated. But I know it won’t happen again. That was last time.”
Strangely his eyes flickered amber now. So quiet I thought he had fainted, eyes wide and staring. “Yes. I want another chance. I saw the Light happen to Grams, and to Ida. Merrick.” Was that the answer for me, half whispered? For the bride, he had killed on his first hunt, she was innocent. Soft, glazed expression, no more hate He had been stupid. The mortal had dazzled him so much he forgot and broke her neck.. everybody at the banquet knew. His maker Petronia’d bashed him like shit. “I just let them kick me, if only I could die in her place. My head cracked on the wall, I fell into the water below. I should’ve died. But I can’t. I’ve died and yet I'm still here. ”
I nodded, it was all I could do to be supportive. He cleared his throat and sipped some of the wine. It tasted bad to him, but he remained impassive. “Now that everything is clear, you can say you hate me. I won’t blame you. It’s all right.” Quinn’s aura was so faint and weakened.
I got worried. Louis what to do? I think he’s in a state of shock and pain.
I’m coming. Tell him he’ll be alright. Do the magic, when I grieved, bianca, you helped me forget.
To undo the damage.That time before he threw away his daughter’s locket forever…. What had I said? Focussing back on the present, Quinn blinked at me puzzled. having no mental guard, he said why did you ask me? It hurts so much- I love my family, yes- and Mona, they all need me. I need them to need me! As long as I can, but won’t there be respect anymore. Should’ve denied. On and on it went...
“Quinn. You’re in shock? Your aura is weakened.”
He roused himself. The litany went on, giving me a headache. I blocked that out. “How about we go out for a walk? It’s so hot here.” I fanned myself. He did as I asked. I’m surprised he would listen to me, nobody is charmed by me at all! Until outside, he left the trance and leaned against a pole.
“Quinn. How’re you feeling? I’m terribly sorry to have upset you.” I apologized.
Back to normal colour. He glanced at me. “I was? You can detect my thoughts? I tried to shield them… I can’t! I’ve failed.”
I grinned, walking ahead. The fireworks would be on tonight, it was nine. Blue, green and red flowers. Quinn cheered up. “Thank you. I couldn’t halt the depression, I let it control me. It’s been years since I raked up the past. It’s not your fault. A lot of bad things happened. I almost lost faith, so I wanted to return to the house. I wanted to be a kid again without any worries except my next meal.”
“Uh huh. Since when did you worry about that? you’re rich!”
He smiled faintly. “Riches are meaningless.”
“If I had more cash, I would fill my tummy, and the others’ tummies too!”
Labels: black freedom, quinn, sorrow
Posted by Ireth Seregon ::
10:40 PM ::
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